Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother

The homily of Fr. Raffy de Gracia during the 75th birthday celebration of my brother-in-law, Rafael “Pepe” Serafin (the husband of my sister, Jo Ann de los Reyes- Serafin),  last February 24, which was held in the residence of Armando and Raquel Serafin in Gentle Breeze Subdivision, Mandaue City,  was a  great reminder to those who were present.

Fr. De Gracia said, “Ephesians 6: 3-4 tells us we must honor our father and mother, and thou shall have long life. This is the only commandment in God’s Ten Commandments that there has a great promise. And this is the only commandment that has a bonus…”

The message of Fr. De Gracia was a wake-up call for those who take their parents for granted.  Some grown-up  children presume that their parents would be around all the time – not realizing that their parents’ years are numbered.

I admire TV hosts Boy Abunda and Vice Ganda who openly demonstrated their love for their mothers. Watching and hearing them of their concern on their mothers could make any mother envious, especially those whose children don’t care much about them.

There was a father, a widower, who when he was hospitalized asked his daughter (a nurse working in the U.S.) for financial aid for his hospital expenses. No matter how he and his second wife tried to contact her, their plea fell on deaf ears. He passed away without a word from her daughter.

A relative commented that he was a good father and a great provider to his children .They could not find any reason why his daughter was so unconcerned of him.

There are also lots of grown-up children who take care of their parents. They provide them with their financial and medical needs.  It’s a blessing to have children like them. I’m one of those blessed.

One may ask, “How about abusive parents? Do children have the obligation to take care of them?  Cameron Strang, at relevantmagazine.com, says, “…Honor your parents by being a child who breaks the cycle of abuse, who chooses grace over hate, and walks into the world determined to be a light in a dark place. Honor your father and mother by recognizing that they are God’s children. Pray for them.  Live a life that isn’t spent shrinking in the shadow of the past – but thriving in the light of God’s grace…”

I know of someone who forgave her mother who disowned her when she was a child. Her mother left for the U.S. and claimed to be single in her ‘papers’.  Hence, her mother could not petition her. When she finished her college degree, she met an American who would be her husband. Right after their wedding, they flew to the U.S., where she was able to work in the bank and rose from the ranks.

She became manager. One day, her mother contacted her and asked for help. She had breast cancer. The daughter helped with her mother’s medicine, like chemotheraphy and radiation. She even paid the mortgage of her mother’s house which was about to be foreclosed. She is one example of a daughter who let go of her past – by forgiving her mother and honoring her.