Apologizing is an Act of Humility

Our ego has a way of manipulating us by telling us that we are better and greater than others. Hence, asking an apology can be a tall order. I would like to share with you this story written by  Velden Lim in the book “Didache, Daily Bible reflections For Catholics”:

“When I was a teenager, my Dad and I had an argument. He accused me of something that I didn’t do. I was terribly hurt, and it resulted in a cold war between us. I was planning to apologize, knowing that Dad is not the type who would say sorry. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it because no matter how I looked at the situation, I really wasn’t the one at fault.

“Then the unthinkable happened. I was inside my bedroom when Dad came in. He sat at the foot of my bed and awkwardly said, ‘Son, I am sorry. It was my fault.’ It was the first time I ever heard him say sorry.

“Apologizing is admitting that you’re at fault, that you’re not perfect. If we follow the world’s idea of greatness then apologizing is quite ironic. But for Jesus, greatness is humility.

“The day Dad apologized was the day I saw his real greatness. It meant the world for a child looking for a real leader in today’s proud and selfish world.”

The other day, I could not help but heave a sigh of pain when I read the news online on two sibling politicians who have not been in talking terms with each other for the past three years.

It is indeed sad when family relationship is put to a test by some issues, and reaching out and apologizing is difficult or impossible. I remember the book, “Life After Death,” written   by Dr. Raymond Moody. This book was about thousands of people from different places in the United States who experienced clinical death. Their accounts are very similar.

These people each testify that when their soul left their body, they passed through a dark tunnel, and at the end of the tunnel was a bright light. From the bright light a voice asked these questions: “What have you done with your life?” “Have you shown love to the people around you?”…

Asking for an apology may be hard to do. But if we ponder on this message by an unknown writer, maybe our hearts will soften: “I pass this world but only once; anything that I can do, or any kindness that I can show, let me do it now. Let me not defer it for I shall not pass this way again.”

Asking for an apology has its  own power. Beverly Engel of the Psychology Today website points out:

• The debilitating effects of the remorse and shame we may feel when we’ve hurt another person can eat away at us until we become emotionally and physically ill. By apologizing and taking the responsibility for our actions we help rid ourselves of esteem-robbing self-reproach and guilt.

• Apology has the power to humble even the most arrogant. When we develop the courage to admit we are wrong and work past our resistance to apologizing, we develop a deep sense of self-respect.