Rain or Sunshine

Debbie (not her real name) has a habit of attracting trouble, even creating one herself at times. She’s only 27, pretty, with a milky complexion and a statuesque, fit body. She seems to have all the qualities to be successful.

Debbie appears to be bright, capable, and a real go-getter. She’s very enthusiastic, always bursting with energy. But, sadly, deep down she doesn’t believe in herself. In effect, she consistently creates her own daily calamities, which, quite clearly, prevent her from living a comfortable, satisfying life.

A few months back, her personal phone was about to be disconnected, because of a friend she invited to stay with her for a week and who used it to make numerous calls to everyone everywhere. Shortly after that, her landlady asked her to vacate her apartment because she couldn’t pay the rent. Then, she discovered that her boyfriend was on drugs.

The latest tragedy was that her mother was going to have a delicate and very expensive surgery, and Debbie herself was too traumatized to function normally. Just last week, she came to work one morning looking so harassed, because the taxi she was riding in rammed into a parked motorcycle near her office. Her boss had to let her off that day, which turned out to be the day she lost her job.

For some time before, Debbie was always late in reporting for work. Her habitual tardiness, though, was at least better than her not showing up at all, which she had been doing quite frequently. While at the office, she was always on the phone, taking and making personal calls that often left her all the more emotionally distraught to perform her official duties.

The only reason holding her back on that job was the pay, which she undoubtedly needed so badly. But her general state of disorganization was soon affecting her officemates. She would hover at their desks for long periods, relating her miseries with anyone who would listen.

Debbie was not fired out; she quitted. Her boss was kind enough to allow her a graceful exit, and gave her a little severance pay. Losing her job was Debbie’s choice, long before the boss gave up on her. She chose to wallow in her personal mess, instead of trying to fix things up.

It is sad how one person could attract so many calamities, one after the other, or even all at once sometimes. Debbie is just so busy handling day-to-day emergencies that she has little or no time to be productive, or to live. She chooses to clip her wings, and she has to face the consequences.

People have the right to live their lives the way they want. All you can do is let them choose, wish them well, and then let them be. It doesn’t mean you don’t care. It means you recognize their right to choose.

Some people curse the coming of the rains; others find good uses for the downpours. We can never stop the clouds from unloading; we can never tell when the showers will come. The skies sometimes give a sign, yes; but we know the weather can turn unpredictably.

People like Debbie curse the rains in their lives. But they don’t do anything to be better prepared for the next downpour. Instead, they seem to unknowingly love the idea of getting drenched as a way of soliciting sympathies from others. Is it wrong? It’s their choice.

Only the one concerned can say what works for him or her. It’s a sad thing to see someone cry, but no one knows exactly what the person’s experience is. Many people go to watch a sad movie. They pay good money just for the opportunity to cry. It is, to them, such a release.

When it rains, you can run to the nearest shed or choose to enjoy the shower. It’s your call. Curse the rain if you like, but you only have yourself to blame for getting drenched. An umbrella is handy to take along, always useful, rain or shine. But if you think it’s cumbersome, so it is.

The kind of life we have is either the price we pay or the prize we get for our choices.