Refuse to believe your doubts, or doubt your beliefs?

And John, calling two of his disciples to him, sent them to the Lord, saying, “Are you the one who is to come, or shall we look for another?”– Luke 7:18-19

Anjezë Gonxhe Bojaxhiu, better known to the world simply as Mother Teresa, the woman who will long be remembered for her work with the dying in the slums of Calcutta, struggled with doubt and estrangement from God through the latter years of her life. In a book entitled Come Be My Light: The Private Writings of the Saint of Calcutta, Mother Teresa’s private letters have been published, causing people to gasp. Having had some striking conviction early in her work that God wanted her to embark on her spiritual pilgrimage of ministry to the poor, seemingly the heavens went brass and God went silent. She felt utterly disconnected, unable to feel God’s presence or sustain a relationship with Him.

In an undated letter she wrote, “I have no faith – I dare not utter the words and thoughts that crowd in my heart and make me suffer untold agony.” In 1959 she wrote, “Such deep longing for God and... repulsed empty, no faith, no love, no zeal... Heaven means nothing...”

I, for one, do not think that apart from confidence that what God says in His Word is true, no one can survive the dark nights of the soul when you wonder if God really is there, and whether or not He cares about you.

When you read the psalms you will also discover that even David, described by Luke as “a man after God’s own heart,” struggled with periods of doubt. John the Baptist, languishing in the Herodium prison, driven by doubt, sent his disciples to ask Jesus if He was the One to come or should they look for another.

At times God’s children have had to refuse to doubt their beliefs or believe their doubts. You, too, may have to do the same thing. As you do, you’ll be in good company.

* * *

Used with permission from Guidelines International Ministries. To learn more about Guidelines and the ministry, send an e-mail to [email protected]. You may also visit www.guidelines.org.