Father’s Day on the road

LAPU-LAPU CITY – A lot of people don’t understand the sacrifices that fathers have to make in order to support their families, and at the same time pursue their passions, as I am now for a basketball coverage. You would be fortunate if they were one and the same. Still, work needs your attention, and many times your physical presence. Conversely, this means your physical absence from your family, sometimes even on special occasions.

Approaching 40 years of being in the broadcasting industry, this writer has fortunately only experienced this a handful of times. Even if some events only happen once a year or once in a lifetime, as a parent, you would naturally want to be there. What is important is that you make your children understand the fruits of your sacrifice, and that it’s necessary to do it for the good of the family.

There have been a few times that we have missed special occasions: my eldest son‘s 12th birthday, when it took me 32 hours to fly back home from Orlando, Florida and none of my connecting flights connected. There was the wedding of a friend that coincided with the 1995 Southeast Asian Games in Chiang Mai, Thailand. At the 1996 Olympics in Atlanta, Georgia, I was faxing (yes, faxing) drawings to my younger son for him to color because he was crying that he missed me. Most recently, my 60th birthday in Bangkok, and my daughter’s confirmation, which took place over the weekend. Luckily, I had explained the situation, and she understood: Dad is always there for her.

But instead of letting it bother us fathers or discouraging us, we should use it as fuel, extra motivation to be able to avoid these situations in the future. Sometimes we worry too much that our children grow up without realizing how much we have done for them. We fear that they will resent our absences. But as long as we communicate the necessity and reassure them that they are our priority, I’ve learned that that is rarely the case.

One advantage of being on the road is that you worry less about responsibilities at home, because you can’t do anything about it. A recent study revealed that about 85 percent of what we worry about, never happens, and that we unnecessarily stress ourselves out. As long as we maintain communication, and focus on our work, the time will pass more quickly. Also, one can reflect on one’s record as a parent. We can look back and see the moments where we may have been too harsh, too neglectful, or too distracted. And we can correct that behavior without being too hard on ourselves.

Actually, we are very lucky that technology now allows us to even see our loved ones while we talked to them. At the risk of betraying my age, long distance, phone calls were very expensive back in the day. Now, you can just pick up your phone (assuming you ever put it down) and video chat with them. It helps take the edge off, and makes you want to hurry back home.

To be clear, there is no conflict between covering sports and being a father. If your children see you working hard while also being loving to them, they will model that behavior, too. Even if you’re away, you can let them know that you are doing it for them, the way they have to be away from you while they’re at school, for their own benefit, as well. And even if Father’s Day was just an afterthought because of the commercialization of Mother’s Day, it still holds meaning. It is a chance to reinforce relationships, show appreciation, and let Dad put his feet up once a year before going back to the grind. Belated Happy Father’s Day.