How to change anyone’s mind

In the Experience (Advice and Inspiration) section of the Harvard Business Review, March-April 2021 issue is the article, “Persuading the Unpersuadable” by Adam Grant which takes off from the Steve Jobs story and how he transformed, “bend” is the exact term used, to his vision.  It is said that he surrounded himself with people who could make him change his mind. Without them, he would not have been able to change the world.

For years, he resisted the idea of making a phone. Yet when finally convinced, iPhone was born and a decade later, had generated more than $1 trillion in revenue.

More important than the genius of a Steve Jobs is the genius of the staff who managed to influence him. The author, an organizational psychologist, has analyzed the science behind the techniques of such influencers, so to speak. He suggests some approaches to help influence the unpersuadables.

1. Ask a know-it-all to explain how things work. That happened to know-it-all Jobs who told the iPhone glass manufacturer, Wendell Weeks, the CEO of Corning, how to do a better product. Rather than argue, Weeks allowed Jobs to explain until Weeks said, “Let me teach you some science and then we can have a great conversation.”

2. Let a stubborn person seize the reins. Asking questions instead of giving answers can overcome obstinacy and stubbornness. Apple TV was born that way when former Apple engineer Mike Bell asked, “What if we built a box that would let you play content?”

3. Find the right way to praise a narcissist. Such individuals do not take too kindly to being told they’re wrong. They feel superior and special and have high but unstable self-esteem. The key is to praise them in an area different from the one in which you hope to change their minds.

At an Apple developer conference, Jobs was praised as a “bright and influential man” by a participant before he was told that he did not know his software. Jobs was approached in the proper manner, so he humbly apologized…”We’ll find the mistakes; we’ll fix them.” By complimenting his intelligence, the participant made it so comfortable for Jobs to acknowledge that he did not know everything about software.

4. Disagree with the disagreeable.  Interesting is that in the 1980s at Apple, the leaders of the Mac team gave an award to one person a year for the one who had the temerity to challenge Steve Jobs. Each winner was eventually promoted by Jobs to run a key division of the company.

If you are willing to stand up to those who are disagreeable and argumentative, rather than back down, you can sometimes get the upper hand.

In 1985, Jobs had product launches which were technical wonders but were sales failures. He was forced out of the company. In 2005, he had said, “It was awful-tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it.” A lesson he learned the hard way, no matter how powerful his vision was, there were still times when he had to rethink his convictions. When he returned as CEO, he was determined to hire people “ready to challenge him and help him overcome his worst instincts.” And then began Apple’s rebirth.

Strong, visionary leaders are needed in organizations but so are employees who know how to effectively counteract bosses and colleagues who are full of overconfidence, stubbornness, narcissism or disagreeableness.

*      *      *

Our family is in deep grief over the sudden passing of my brother-in-law, Chito Sta. Romana. Messages from his many associates have been helping the family cope and we appreciate their warmth and concern for Chito.

Chito was close to the college editors who were his contemporaries and what follows may be considered Chito’s last interview, completed two days before he left us. How appropriate and significant that it should be with those who knew him well. Their official statement follows:

“Colleagues of Ambassador Chito Sta. Romana from the College Editors Guild of the Philippines ’69-’72 (CEGP) had been conducting interviews with the ambassador in the last months. This would form part of the book SERVE, which the group is submitting to the Ateneo University for review and publication.

Mercy Corrales, a long-time friend of the ambassador and one of the authors of SERVE, was putting his chapter together. As a finishing touch to her interview, she asked him what he was most proud of and how he would like to be remembered.

From China, Sta. Romana sent this response via Messenger, on Good Friday, April 15, 2022, a few days before he passed away.

‘Looking back, it was a rare privilege to serve as the Philippine Ambassador to China and contribute to the turnaround and significant improvement in our bilateral relations. There have been numerous milestones and achievements during the course of my diplomatic assignment. But if there is one thing I am proud of, it is this: to have played a frontline role in building a bridge of friendship and cooperation between the Filipino and Chinese people that transcended any differences and contributed to regional stability and prosperity. For, after all, what is diplomacy for, if not to serve the people and promote the country’s interests?’”

*      *      *

Young Writers’ Hangout on April 23 with Roel S.R. Cruz on Using Figurative Language, 2-3 pm. Write Things’ six-day summer workshop “Writefest” (now on its 8th year) on May 16, 18, 20, 23, 25, 27 is now open for registration. Open to 8-17 year olds, it will run from 3-4:30 pm every session.

Contact [email protected]. 0945.2273216

Email: [email protected]