Duterte-Duterte 2022? What a bort pet!

My eldest daughter, when she was just learning to talk, would exclaim "what a bort pet!" when she got annoyed or confused or otherwise got her credulity and equilibrium tested and challenged. I borrowed the expression and applied it at the office where it caught on for a while until its novelty faded, just like all fads.

But I am resurrecting it now for one special purpose. I am applying it to this malarkey called "Duterte-Duterte 22." The phrase "Duterte-Duterte 22" was coined by who else but presidential chief legal adviser Salvador Panelo. No one but the man who President Duterte himself called "the sartorial enigma" could conjure up such a scenario in his mind.

"Duterte-Duterte 22" refers to a possible tandem in the presidential election in 2022 involving Davao City Mayor Sara Duterte Carpio for president with her father, the incumbent president, as her runningmate. The daughter-father teamup is what Panelo sees happening in 2022. And his is not a fashion projection but a political floater about which he is not joking.

Joke or not, I cannot say amen to that. And I think many will not either. Instead I will say "what a bort pet!" to that. Let me repeat, for good measure: "WHAT A BORT PET!" That is too much. That is a lot of nonsense. There are more than 110 million of us and we can do no better than these two? But let me qualify that.

First of all, there is no legal impediment to that. So as far as the law and the Constitution is concerned, the Panelo brainchild is a pass. And if Vice President Leni Robredo is a presidential timber, why cannot be Sara Duterte Carpio? Like Leni, Sara is also a lawyer. Both have political experience. So no problem as far as the standard-bearer is concerned. It is in the runningmate where things can get a little tacky.

At this point, there is no name yet floated to pair with Leni. In fact there has been no formal declaration so far whether she will actually run. She is in the picture only because she is the vice president. That leaves President Duterte as the vice presidential partner of his daughter Sara. Why not? Here is why not!

The first good reason why Duterte should bow out of the picture is that, as president, he has been to Everest. Except for homesickness, why bother with Mt. Apo. Spare tire? Duterte can live a more fulfilling life going round the speaking circuit. While not good in the delivery, Duterte can be a really great speaker with his irreverent subject matters. He can make honest millions just by cracking sex jokes. Verbal calisthenics is good for the knees.

The integrity of the knees is a good indicator of age. Duterte is pushing 80. No point doing a Leni. A spare tire will not suffice with missing PSI. The immense popularity of Duterte accrues to his presidency. It is non-transferable to the vice presidency, not even if that happens to be he himself. Lastly, enough is enough already. Sara-whoever else, ok. Duterte-Duterte, no way. For an avowed lover of sex, Duterte should know what "new cow" means.