The hierarchy of love

Although we have been saying that the love for God is inseparable from our duty to love others (cfr. Mt 22,36-40), and that how we love or don’t love our neighbor can also indicate our real relationship with God (cfr. 1 Jn 4,20), we have to be clear about the preeminence of the former over the latter. Without love for God, our love for others would be, at best, fake.

Christ clarified this point when he said: “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.” (Mt 10,37)

We have to understand these words. It doesn’t mean that our love for our parents or children should be less than how we want it to be. It is just that we have to make sure that our love for them is inspired by our love for God, the source, the pattern, the power and the end of our love should be.

And how do we know this love? How can we live it? This love has been manifested to us in full by Christ himself and can be made actual through the power of the Holy Spirit as we go through the different circumstances of our life.

Thus, Christ gave that new commandment that summarized and perfected all the previous commandments. And that is that we love one another as he, Christ, has loved us. (cfr. Jn 13,34) It’s a love that goes all the way, and its scope is universal. It’s a love that can take care of everything, including the difficulties.

Remember St. Paul saying that charity, which is the real love that comes from God through Christ in the Holy Spirit, “bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” (1 Cor 13,7)

To be sure, this love can be lived by us because Christ himself will empower us to do so, if we care to truly identify ourselves with him. That love is actually all there for the taking. Christ makes it available to us. Better said, Christ makes himself available to us so we can love the way he loves all of us, without exception.

We need to bring these words of Christ to heart because we are notorious for having that tendency to have our own version of love that can never be real love, no matter how fervent and ardent we feel it to be, unless it’s inspired by our love for God.

These words of Christ have to be acted on by us, as he himself has told us. “Everyone who listens to these words of mine and acts on them will be like a sensible man who built his house on rock. Rain came down, floods rose, gales blew and hurled themselves against that house, and it did not fall. It was found on rock.” (Mt 7,24-25)

Thus, St. Paul said: “Not the hearers of the law are just before God, but the doers of the law shall be justified.” (Rom 2,13) And St. James: “Be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.” (1,22)

We have to be convinced that having this proper hierarchy of love is what is best for us. It may require some self-denial and sacrifices, but that is only because we are always in need of discipline, purification, and the healthy detachment we ought to have with respect to the things of this world.

We cannot deny that we are prone to be taken over by the things of the flesh and of the world, if not of the devil himself, that would alienate us not only from God but also from everybody else. A love that is inspired by the flesh, the worldly things and the devil himself can only be deceptive. It is a sweet poison!