Thoughts in the time of COVID

For the past week, I have become uneasy. My nightly sleep is always interrupted by worry and anxiety. When I wake up in the morning, instead of feeling rested because of not having to wake up early due to work from home arrangements, I wake up tired and groggy with a feeling of uncertainty. When I shared this with my best friends, we are all feeling the same thing. We tried to discuss how to cope with it and ended up saying that it would be best for us to feel apathy to numb the pain.

As I was driving to our office yesterday to finish a few tasks which I couldn't do at home, I was stopped at the city boundary by men in uniform. I showed my ID and they gave me no hassle, except for the part where they had to take my temperature. Other than that, I was allowed entry to Mandaue City. But tears fell down my face as I saw the empty streets and drove up to an empty parking lot. There was nobody walking on the sidewalk, a sight that I probably missed. I am almost losing my sanity.

To seek refuge online, I read some posts that the state that we are in right now where we are battling an invisible enemy, could really lead to mental breakdown and if we don't do something about it, it might really get really lethal. Depression can lead us to many other thoughts which could ultimately resort to suicide. I'm thankful I don't have those thoughts yet, neither should any of us. I know this is a hard time and it is even interesting enough that the numbers are not going down.

I wish we can all just hold hands and give each other hugs but that would breach the social distancing protocol of the World Health Organization. They want us to stay safe, but it is driving us all crazy. The best way to cope they said is to keep on praying, but what if your prayers aren’t heard? The times now may lead us to skepticism. Maybe we can all talk to a friend or a family member inside the household. Now is the time to reconnect and rekindle broken friendships and relationships. If we are going to make the times uncertain, might as well do it together.

My prayers go out to the frontliners who are Filipinos working abroad. I'm sure they are also having a hard time coping with the situation right now. It’s even more difficult that they are far from their families. We heal as one, they say. How can we do so if we can't even cooperate during an enhanced community quarantine? Should we wait for our authorities to declare a total lockdown? That's as if they can afford it as well. Best we can do right now is to cooperate.