The Envy Trap

In the lanes of life, there are times when the inner fiber of our being is contaminated by the poisonous potion that makes us unhappy and miserable – and that’s envy.

Envy is a trap that makes us overlook the blessings that we have received from the Lord. It sometimes makes us question the Lord on why some people are more blessed than us, in wealth, in appearance, have someone that loved them , and other things that bespeak of envy.

A friend of mine envied a relative who married a lawyer and whose family is living in fame and wealth. She thought that she was the luckiest woman on earth, but then the lawyer’s wife confided that she was not happy in her marriage because her husband was weird and selfish. That they seldom communicated with each other. That she just suffered in silence but, in fact, if not for her children she would have filed an annulment.

My friend realizes that she is more blessed than her relative. It’s true that its’ not good to envy other people because you don’t know the journey that they are going through. 

Author Patrick Warren in his book “What On Earth Am I Here For?” says, “As humans, we are naturally interested in the lives of others. We are fascinated with how others look, act, talk, and love. There’s nothing wrong with it, but it becomes a problem when we resent how God made others, reject how He made us, and start envying what they have. Envy is such a destructive attitude. The last commandment says: ‘You shall not covet.’ Coveting is another word for envy.”

How can we avoid being trapped in the web of envy? Warren suggests the following:

• Stop comparing yourself to others. Comparing is the root of all envy. Comparing leads to pride or envy. You can always find someone you think you’re better than and you will be prideful. On the other hand, you will always find people that you think are doing better than you, and you will become envious and discouraged. What matters is not who’s better off, but are you doing what God created you to do?

• Celebrate God’s goodness to others. Instead of resenting others, rejoice with them! The Bible tells us to be happy when God blesses those around us: “Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.”

• Be grateful for who you are and whatever you have. Everything you have is a gift from God. When you find yourself beginning to envy someone else, instead of wishing what they have remind yourself that “God has given me some unique gifts they don’t have, and besides that, I don’t know the downside of being them.”

• Trust God when life seems unfair. Anytime you envy others, you are doubting God who knows what’s best for you. You question His love, His justice, and even His wisdom. Stop resenting for the grace of God is sufficient to you. Instead, be grateful for what you’ve got, and move on with your life now. Doing this will keep you from getting caught in the envy trap and being detoured from the path that God has laid out for you.