"The Kiss" by Gustav Klimt

We will grow in age and love together
FROM MY HEART - Barbara Gonzalez-Ventura (The Philippine Star) - March 11, 2018 - 12:00am

He seems to be a traditionalist sometimes while I am often non-traditional. But that’s okay too. That’s just the way our lives work. We enhance each other. We balance each other.

Sometimes I find myself wondering — how long have I been married? What does it really feel like? Sometimes I come up with answers. It’s easy enough to figure out how long I’ve been married. From Jan. 24 to March 11. That’s eight days, add 28 days in Feb., 11 days in March or exactly 47 days, a little more than a month and a half. That is such a short time to be married. Some days it feels like there are so many things going on and other days we’re just watching Netflix or YouTube or shopping at some supermarket.

 What does it feel like to be married? It feels sometimes strange but most of the time it feels wonderful. We move from sleeping at his condo a few days of the week then moving to my condo to sleep there the other days of the week. We have entertained small groups of friends at my condo where we prefer to have them because there are good cross breezes there and the temperature at night is cool. We love sitting on my veranda every morning and doing our rituals. His ritual is more about reading the Bible and some books. Mine is writing in my journal my prayers to God. He believes the Bible to be his connection to God. I believe mine to be more personal, more a conversation with God. In this way we are different in method but still it’s about building our relationship with God. This part I feel very satisfying and I think he does, too.

One night we were invited to dine with his daughter, her husband, her mother-in-law, and friends in Magallanes. We left the house early to make sure that we would get there on time considering how bad the traffic can be on EDSA. We got to Makati very early so I suggested we visit my mother’s niche behind the Magallanes Church. When we got there he surprised me by saying we needed to say an Our Father, a Hail Mary and a Glory Be and he led the prayers. After that I just said in a low voice, “Mom, this is my new husband. I want you, my Lolas and my Daddy to meet him. This is Loy Ventura.” Then I planted sort of flying kisses on each of their names and we left. That’s another difference between us. He seems to be a traditionalist sometimes while I am often non-traditional. But that’s okay, too. That’s just the way our lives work. We enhance each other. We balance each other.

 In one of my recent conversations with a widow, she said she could not imagine being married again. For the longest time, neither could I, so I knew exactly what she meant. But when Loy asked me to marry him I immediately said yes because I knew I loved him. He asked me to marry him because we wanted to love each other intimately and he knew that was a sin unless he married me. I respected that and I very clearly loved him. There was no question.

 If you are widowed and a man asks you to marry him and you can say no without compunction, it is because you do not love the man.

 We are both old. I am 73 and he is 79 but we are both active where it counts and that’s because mainly of StemEnhance Ultra, which, my readers know I sell for a living. When I started to sell it I would be told at seminars that men would get their virility back, that it would turn them into broncos (untamed horses who buck a lot), a word men love to use to describe their youthful selves. I didn’t have a man in my life so how would I know? Now I have one and let me tell you — StemEnhance Ultra works. It doesn’t work instantly but it works well over time. Each of us takes four capsules every morning. Also I have noticed new black hair beginning to grow at the back of his neck complementing his old white hair. Of course, Ultra is expensive but I know first hand it’s well worth it.

Earlier we were watching photographs of people who had been married 25 to 40 years. We won’t make it to that point, will we, Loy says to me, smiling impishly. No, I don’t think so, I say. Nevertheless we are happy and very grateful to God for the time He has given us to be together. We have so many plans. We sit up at all hours of the night to talk and laugh. We enjoy each other’s company so much. How can anyone wonder how much time we will have together? It will simply be as long as we love and live. As Edgar Allan Poe, writer of many horror stories once slipped, we will grow in age and love together.

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