It’s easier to be more forgiving when you are well

FROM THE HEART - Gina Lopez (The Philippine Star) - December 7, 2015 - 9:00am

When I was 18, I left home and became a missionary. I ended up spending 12 years in Africa – moved by the pull to do something meaningful with my life. I fell in love, went back home to the Philippines — and had two children.

In my case, missionary life was not the appropriate training for parenting. Living away from the “world,” I had this “idyllic” notion of human beings. That if one gives, and gives unconditionally, they will grow
up brave, strong, and very confident.

Wrong. If one gives and gives, it leads to a sense of entitlement. Worse, if one gives and gives – it even becomes invasive because they are not given the space to BE, to find their own strengths. Sigh. The most painful experience is if one gives and gives, one doesn’t get love in return — but rather anger and frustration. Ouch.

Sooo the first thing to do is to let go. Give space — understand what is happening — and use the opportunity to grow on a deeply personal level. Don’t react!  That leads to a negative spiral which can damage relationships indefinitely.... just let go....  Back off... Support but back off.

Some physical distance is also a good idea.

I know of a relationship where the wife lived for the husband. Literally. Gave all of herself — designed her life around her spouse. What did she get in return? Her husband felt suffocated — so he left her — and doesn’t even want to talk to her. The situation reminds me of parenting situations — where the adolescents want to individuate — find themselves.

It is actually healthy. It is healthy to individuate. It is healthy to let go. That’s what life is all about. Growth and evolution. The important thing is to keep positive no matter the pain and chaos around. Life doesn’t end when relationships falter. You most certainly can keep blooming and growing and learning.

Having said that, I have found that health and wellness is a key significant way to navigate life. If you are well, it’s so much easier to be wise, to be forgiving.  It’s hard to feel positive if one is sickly. Health and wellness is positive energy circulating in your body. Maybe this is why when someone close to me who is bi polar started taking these supplements for physical vitality, it eased her depression and mood swings in a significant way.

So on December 12 (Saturday), I am inviting you to a health and wellness session. I would like to share with you an elementary form of the meditation I do which is the main pillar of my life. We will do Qi Gong, which is a great energetic exercise. I would like to teach Night Practice, a way of relaxing in the day and a way of getting into deep sleep. I will have essential oils to help you relax.

We will also have detox machines which you can try for free. One dips one’s feet in a tub of water with a gadget which supposedly draws toxins out of one’s body — to the point where the water gets colored depending on the toxins being “drawn.”  At the end of 30 minutes, mine was rust-colored, which according to the therapist is healthy. So I decided I didn’t need to get the machine. However, the next day, I found out that each of my help paid the therapist P500 of their own money to have a session! Now P500 for them is a significant amount!  They spoke elatedly about their aches and pains going away and even showed me pictures of their “water.” My gardener had the darkest water.

I decided to bring the machines to the Foundation where I have about 200 employees in the building. It felt like I had a mini-hospital with employees trying out the machine. It was interesting to see that with my finance person who undergoes dialysis regularly, her water was deep dark, almost black. People that were unhealthy had “darker” water so there seemed to be some sense in the process.  The therapist said that one has to do 14 sessions for a significant “cure.” The machine tests sugar levels, blood
pressure and there is a “sandal” one stands on that does reflexology and acupressure points.  After assessing the feedback of employees for that day, I decided to get the machine for my office and one for my house. Even one for myself.  It is good to keep one’s staff healthy. I will have these machines there for free trials.


Addressing emotions is key to health. Negative emotions inevitably lead to physical ailments. There are essential oils that address forgiveness, peace, passion, cheer and console. Emotions are chemical reactions in the brain. Blends of essential oils can address “negative ruts.” What I found helpful is closing the eyes, inhaling the oils and repeating and feeling phrases in one’s consciousness — like Let it go — for forgive, or I am loved — for console.

Over thanksgiving dinner I was treated to an eight-day old duck egg! According to my host, his health and wellness guide in Boston said that eight-day-old fertilized eggs have stem cell nutritional benefits! I never liked balut because I don’t like the feel of eating a baby duck. An eight-day-old egg is like eating custard but with the balut taste. So since I have more than a thousand ducks being raised by Pasig relocatees — you are in for a stem cell treat!

 So come on December 12 (Saturday). It will be our last health and wellness session for the year.  Please contact Anna at 915 465 0759 or Jen at 09175136822 for reservations.  The cost is P350. We will also have Christmas treats made by our communities which make for excellent Christmas gifts. Looking forward to seeing you.

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I can be reached at regina_lopez@abs-cbn.com.


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