Healing and forgiveness
LIVING ALIVE - LIVING ALIVE By Dero Pedero () - April 10, 2007 - 12:00am
Many unfortunate experiences in our lives etch deep wounds, leaving almost indelible scars in our hearts and minds. Sad, painful, and traumatic events caused by other people (whether through physical torture, mental, emotional or sexual abuse, betrayal, and even financial and material swindling) make us harbor intense anger and hate for the wrongdoer.The victimized ends up hurting within, and soon, all the fearful and negative emotions start to poison his/her body until he/she becomes sick. Oddly enough, through the powerful law of karma, the perpetuator of the abuse, betrayal or crime (if he has but a little sense of what’s right and wrong) also feels the guilt which will bother him and not make him sleep until he accepts his wrongdoing, confesses to it, and asks for forgiveness.The scars left by traumatic events could be healed as long as the victim is willing to process the issues and be freed or absolved from them. Although there are hurts buried deep in the subconscious that would need a psychiatrist to bring to the surface, many could actually be defined and dealt with great success by the victim himself.
Steps To Forgiveness
In order for the victim or perpetuator to be whole again, he should face the incident, deal with it internally, and start the process of mental, emotional, and spiritual healing. Until he comes to terms with the experience, accept it, and learn to forgive (or confess and ask for forgiveness in the case of the abuser or perpetuator), he will never be able to free himself from the hurt. When the harmful negative emotions are released, physical healing will start to take place.

• Empower yourself. Stop feeling like a victim; instead, believe that you have the power to take control of your life and experiences. Realize that it would take a firm belief in your own personal power to emancipate yourself from your issue or predicament. Make a decision to be freed from this event or it will ruin your whole life.

• Step out of the experience. Take an objective and more emotionally detached point of view and picture in your mind what had happened. Be an observer this time. Imagine that you are just viewing a movie so try not to feel whatever unpleasant feelings or hurts replaying it may bring back.

• Realize that it happened in the past. The past is gone; it can’t be undone. Nothing could bring it back except your memories. You don’t deserve to be miserable over something that’s over and done. Don’t cling to unpleasant experiences that went before; instead, focus on the bright opportunities offered by the future.

• Accept it. Even though it hurts, look at the experience as an important lesson from which you can learn on a spiritual level. You don’t even have to understand why it happened. Think of it as a lesson that needed to occur for your mental and spiritual evolution.

• Learn to forgive. No matter how difficult it seems, you must forgive your abuser. Allowing yourself to harbor the feeling of hate for whoever hurt you will just give him power over you. Don’t provide him that privilege. You don’t deserve to suffer all your life. Release him to the universe and the law of karma will take care of him.

• Confess your wrongdoing. On the other hand, the abuser or guilty person must realize and accept his grave mistake, confess the wrongdoing, ask for forgiveness, and make amends for the wrong he has done. Anyone who has ever gone to confession will attest that there is a wonderful liberating inner peace that engulfs you after you have confessed.

• Bring love into your being. Revenge is not the answer; it will just trigger more negativity and toxins into your system. Love is the most powerful energy that exists and it can heal everything. Imagine a huge ball of light shining with pure love permeate your whole body and transmute all your negative emotions into wonderful sensations of love and joy.

• Release, let go, and move on.
Imagine wrapping that horrible event plus all your feelings of anger, hate, and frustration in an inescapable bubble and send it flying like a balloon out to the universe where it will be disintegrated, never to return again. Bless yourself and your abuser with love. There can be no forgiveness without love.

• Allow the healing process to begin. Imagine a brand-new you being regenerated from this process of forgiveness, release, and letting go. Let the glow of love and the serene feeling of inner peace flow all over your body, energizing your health, charging the places you go to, and protecting you from negativity, harm, and disease.

• Time is on your side. Time heals all wounds. When the bitter memories of the event are forgotten and when the hatred in the heart is dislodged by understanding and joy, miraculous physical healing takes place. By learning to expand our minds and filling our hearts with love and forgiveness, we can erase all hurts and heal our lives.
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For your comments on this article and inquiries about our summer self-enhancement seminars, e-mail deroseminar@yahoo.com.

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