10 super moms on the toughest thing about motherhood
We hear it time and time again: motherhood is so rewarding, fulfilling and full of joy. Yes, it is true! But what about the bad days, the hard times, those far-from-picture-perfect, burst-into-tears, close-to-losing-your-mind moments? That part of being a mother is just as important to talk about. There is so much to learn from the experiences of other mothers who seem to have it all figured out, and it is very comforting to know that during the times we feel frustrated, helpless, or even lost, it is normal for us to feel that way, and that we are not alone.
Here are 10 super moms and their thoughts on what the toughest part of motherhood has been:
Actress, singer, host, and entrepreneur
Mom of one-year-old Seve
The hardest part is saying goodbye to your old self — your old ways, wants, needs, and personal dreams. When I became a mom, everything became all about Seve, for Seve, and because of Seve. If there was even the slightest chance of doing something for myself, I would feel guilty right away. Accepting the transition was hard. Your life will never be the same again, your body will never be the same again, but then your life has never been more full, more complete and happier.
Broadcaster and journalist
Mother of two: David, 16, and Lucas, 10
The hardest thing about motherhood is that there is no one set path to be the best mother. You can only give what you have, and mothering often requires much more than we know. I’m not a conventional stay-at-home mom. I work heavily, so I am challenged with balancing time, being hands-on, and staying involved and connected. Just today, I’m in Marikina for a shoot and the school called to say Lucas had to be sent home because of a bum stomach. I’m asking myself, “Am I feeding him right, as a mother?” Mothering can’t be compartmentalized; it takes all of you, unconditionally.
Congresswoman, tri-athlete and entrepreneur
Mother of three: Maxine, 23,
Nadine, 19 and Lucas, 8
Letting go is the hardest thing about motherhood. In my case, I lost a child. The depth of that pain is something I still cannot comprehend or explain. Not many moms will experience this kind of loss, but we all have to learn to let go. Seeing our children grow and mature is such a delight, yet we always wish we could freeze time and keep them safe and small. We can’t. What we can do is teach them to be loving and responsible humans. I try to inject life lessons in everyday life situations. It’s not always easy because I don’t want to sound like a nag, but it’s my job. If I don’t do it, who else will they learn from? Sure, they learn from school, their peers and the internet, but there’s so much information out there; I want to ensure they learn from me and the values I want to pass down to them. I read that the brain isn’t fully matured till one is 25! So I still have that opportunity to guide my kids and mold their minds even if the two are in college already.
Actress and dancer
Mother of two: Zion, 5, and Kai, 7 weeks old
The toughest thing about motherhood is breastfeeding! Personally, I think it’s harder than pregnancy. I admire and praise women who breastfeed for a year or two, but it’s really not for me. Having two kids requires me to split my attention. I need to make sure I’m there for Zion and Richard (Gutierrez), and take care of what is needed at home. I’m a working mom, and I cannot do only one thing that requires my full time. If breastfeeding is becoming a struggle wherein you start to become unhappy, don’t put so much pressure on yourself to be like other moms. We’re all different, and we all sacrifice and love.
Executive vice president and deputy managing director of McDonald’s Philippines
Mother of two: Diego, 22, and Isabel, 18
I wish I had been more prepared for the teen years of my kids. The hardest thing for a mother is seeing your kids struggle with failure, rejection, or a broken heart. Having gone through my own struggles and knowing this is part of life and building character, it is still painful to see your own kids go through their own trials. It is also a struggle learning to let your child be more independent and accept they have their own mind. The teens today are so different from when I was a teen!
Stephanie Kienle Gonzalez
Managing director of Philux
Mother of two: Andrea, 5, and Arielle, 1
The toughest thing about motherhood is the vulnerability you feel. When you become a mother, you become fully responsible for a human being — their health, welfare, happiness, and security. It’s an enormous task! While you feel vulnerable because of this, you make mistakes, you get hurt, and you also doubt yourself from time to time. It is all part of the rewarding motherhood learning curve. It is the most fulfilling role I have played and I’m enjoying the rollercoaster ride filled with love.
Mother of two: Jacobo, 12, and Ayisha, 8
I’ve already heard that every parent might need to do “tough love” at some point. But no matter how often I’ve been warned about the difficulty, hurdling it each time is still such a challenge. I tell you, parenthood is the scariest “hood” one will ever have to go through!
Model, host and entrepreneur
Mother of two: Ace, 2, and Rhys, 1
For me, kids are actually simple and easy. They communicate their needs and it is our job as mothers to listen — I mean, really listen. So for me, the hardest thing about motherhood is keeping myself in check. Being in tune with myself and my babies. Truly being present and listening, and making conscious decisions and not passing down old programming behaviors and issues. Being mindful is a constant.
Head of CNN Philippines
Mother of two: Henry, 15, and Chloe, 13
The hardest thing about motherhood is striking the right balance between all you need to do to raise your children. Am I doing enough for them? Am I expressing my love for them properly? Am I being a good example? Am I protecting them without blocking opportunities for them to learn and be prepared for the future? There are all these uncertainties. I worry about them getting hurt, getting sick, having to go through life’s many challenges. But I need to remind myself: that’s all part of life. Motherhood can be very hard, but it’s also the best thing ever!
Mother of five: Danielle, 26, Danica, 25, Emman, 21, Marc, 19 and Nicolas, 17
I’m privileged to share a lot of wonderful and challenging experiences with my five beautiful children though the years. Recently, my children experienced tremendous sadness and grief when their beloved dog passed away. I wasn’t emotionally prepared for the pain they all felt with the loss. I felt powerless — it was a wakeup call for me that I don’t have the answer to all their needs. The best thing I could do was be silent and offer them prayers. I realized you’ll never fully “arrive” because motherhood is a constant and rewarding journey.
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Message the author @iamsuperbianca.