‘Is there life in life?’
At a Mass for the first death anniversary of Tita Patsy, mother of my dearest friend Rachy Cuna, the priest said in his sermon: “The more important question than ‘Is there life after death?’ is ‘Is there life in life’?”
I went home after the celebration of the well-lived life of Tita Patsy still thinking of the concept of “life in life.” To this moment, it is a voice in my head.
The life we live is the advance party for the life after death. So today, we make merry. We give kindness to others. Or if we can’t be kind to be them, at least we don’t hurt or harm them.
To be alive is different from having a life.
To be alive is just to go about your life on a daily basis. Home, work, home. The cycle is repeated. Every single day.
To have a life is to read a book at home or play with the children or cozy up with the partner. To have a life is to go to work with excitement, to sincerely catch up with your colleagues even if you see each other every day. To have a life is to come home after a long day at work feeling excited about picking up that book again, tucking the kids to bed or giving your partner a good night kiss.
To have a life is to visit your mother on a weekend. Or to treat your siblings to coffee. Or to simply bond at home with the people who matter most — your family.
There is life in life when we become a friend. Not everybody has the same amount of joy that you have. When we are sensitive enough to the fate of others, when we become a friend even to a stranger — even to an astray dog or cat — we put life in our lives.
The life we put in life is important. It is the dream that fuels us to court success. It is also the cushion that softens the blow when we fall, when we fail, when we’re frail in body, spirit and mind. A dream not met still gives birth to another dream. To get started dreaming again is the life in life.
In a guest appearance recently in a Facebook live discussion in STAR, I was asked: “What’s your advice for people who want to move on?” I answered: “Move on. Move up. And mean it. Put life in life.” Of course, I was still thinking of the sermon of the priest when I gave my answer.
Death comes in many forms. One of them is a break up. But a failed relationship is a kind of success masked in hurts and pains. Ride them. Cry over them. But put a cap to your melancholy. Some suffer shorter than the others. Put life in your life by picking up a new hobby, a new toy, a new self-help book. Others undergo therapy. Whatever it is, put a cap to your pain. On a particular day, after months of picking up the pieces of yourself, declare that you are free from pain. Then you will start to view life in a new perspective again. Then you’re ready to fall in love again — either with others or with yourself.
Self love is important. The love you give yourself is the seedbed of your growth. This is the same love you will afford to give to others. And when you give love to others, there’s life in your life.
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(For your new beginnings, e-mail me at bumbaki@yahoo.com. I’m also on Twitter @bum_tenorio and Instagram @bumtenorio. Have a blessed Sunday.)
