Having elderly parents at home

CEBU, Philippines — In the light of the seeming tolerance of the present Filipino legislators to foreign concepts, many are scared that it’s only the beginning. Divorce, abortion, and same sex marriage are only a few of the controversial issues being considered for legislation. Many fear that the very fiber of the Filipino family would soon disintegrate.

Is the subject of ageing parents next in the agenda? Those who have elderly parents must have spent more than one sleepless night worrying about Papa and Mama’s future. Well, that ‘future’ is here already for them, but what’s bothersome are the thoughts of further decline – physical and mental – that are sure to come.

And there’s the daunting task of caring for the elderly that looms in the near horizon. Among Filipinos, in general, there’s no question about the place where the elderly shall be. It’s at home – with the family, where they can further age comfortably, and gracefully.

True, home care can be stressful for both the rest of the family and its elderly members. The younger ones at home may have to bear with the old one’s ill health and oftentimes erratic behavior. Conversely, the elderly may at times suffer the ire of tired and irritated family members.

Another problem is a home environment that has become unsafe for physically unstable parents.  The very intensive medical requirements of elderly parents also add to the already tight family budget. It’s a situation that’s quite volatile and, thus, traumatic for both the old ones and the young.

But, still, majority of Filipino families, home care the only option for their elderly. It’s a sentimental payback to the very people who took care of them when they were little and helpless. Incidentally, the home is a therapeutic environment that has been found to prolong the health of old people and do wonders for the wellbeing of the entire family.

Even those who can afford professional care for their elderly prefer home care. Allowing elderly parents to remain at home is not a question at all. They know it’s not going to be easy, but they prefer it just the same.

They family knows they are helping out of love, and that there is value to what they are doing for their dear elderly. The sacrifice often re-energizes them. And when they see that their elderly are vulnerable – and it takes courage to be vulnerable in front of others – that point of view can often give them added patience. The family is showing its love for elderly parents by stepping in, and the elderly are showing their trust in the family by letting younger members care for them.

The following tips from the website www.pabianrussell.com may just help families start right in caring for ageing members:

• Install night lights, well lighted stairways and halls

• Add grab bars and railings especially in the bathrooms and along the stairways

• Remove clutter

• You might want to get rid of throw rugs

• You may need to install a ramp

• Consider a shower chair

• Have safeguards against falls

• Make them feel at home

• Incorporate your parents’ friends and favorite social activities, doctors etc. from their previous living situation

• Keep things stable and unchanged whenever possible

• Encourage your parents to invite friends over, have calls with them if friends cannot travel

• Bring your parents to see their friends, play cards or be a part of social situations

Make sure they’re not at risk of fraud or abuse.