The Home love starts here

CEBU, Philippines — One modern-day philosopher once said: “Hell is other people.” He couldn’t be more wrong. He should have been more thoughtful.

In fact, hell is the absence of other people. Isolation is the worst punishment there is. And, without other people humanity would have been long gone.

It’s Biblical – the Book of Genesis is about relationships among people, focusing on the most important of these: husbands and wives, parents and children, and sibling rivalries. Only in Exodus does the Bible turn to the politics of slavery and freedom. Much of the Bible is about what makes a good society, but it insists on the primacy of the personal over the political. Moreover, much of Jewish ritual and celebration centers on the home.

The family is the microcosm of the human community. It is where the person first learns love and self-confidence and the values that will serve as his compass through the uncharted territory of life. It is where he first learns about responsibility and the choreography of taking turns and making space for others.

The home is where people acquire the habits of the heart that help them take responsibility and risks, confident that there is always someone who cares to lift them if they fall. A childhood lived in the stable presence of two loving parents is the greatest gift anyone can have.

Well, of course, family life isn’t always easy or simple. In fact, it rarely is. Even a home where everyone seems to “live happily ever after” has its own share of miseries and rancor for one another, for sure.

Family members need to constantly work, sacrifice, and show mutual respect for one another, in order for them to remain a solid bunch. By getting the home environment right, parents give their children a head start in making fulfilling relationships on their own. If more homes in the neighborhood are like that, the community is like that – and society as a whole is like that.

Their relationships are what make people human. Sadly, a recent report on mental health has found that one in ten persons in big cities is lonely, and it is more so among the young. What is worrisome is that the statistics is rising.

Today’s parents are preoccupied with various pursuits, especially economic. Children, for their part, are spending most of their time and energy in electronic communication – internet surfing, texting, and engaging in social media on their smartphones. Very little time, if at all, is left for family bonding – for parents to guide and check on their children, for children to learn from their parents.

A young person may have hundreds of Facebook friends, but he will be lucky to have one he can really depend on in his time of crisis. Online popularity is no substitute for the feeling of confidence and security one gets around supportive parents and siblings. Thus, a good home environment is very important.

It is in the home where one first learns the importance of love and forgiveness – the two great dimensions of a lasting relationship. One who loves is always willing to forgive the other. One sibling, for example, cannot expect the other sibling to be perfect just as he himself cannot be expected to be perfect. In fact, the very imperfections of family members become their terms of endearments, all in the light of love.

And love is contagious; it infects everyone and everything within range – from the home to the community… to the whole world. Where love reigns, there is peace and celebration and joy.