The Visit to the Cemetery

CEBU, Philippines —  The modern person seems to distance himself from the cemetery.

He tends to reason that the past is past. That there is no need whatsoever to look over one’s shoulder and wallow in sorrow and regrets

– the past can no longer be changed anyway.

Such mindset has its merits. It is practical and true. If only people are all reason and practical thinking alone.

Nowadays the hordes of young people that troop to the cemetery around All Souls’ Day go there for their own fun, not anymore for their dead. Given all the nasty things – drinking, gambling, making noise – that the living do at cemeteries on the supposed day for remembering the dead, it can be said that the day has indeed lost its original purpose. It is now a day of merrymaking by and for the living.

But truth is, many people today still make time to visit the cemetery to sincerely pay their respects for the dear departed. They go there to celebrate those lives that were once part of theirs. And they time their visit on a day when they’re not rushed.

A visit to the cemetery – especially on a quiet day – gives one a good chance to remember departed loved ones and reminisce one’s moments with them in life. The gesture defines what kind of person one is and what those dear ones that have moved on mean to him. It can also help a lot in the appeasement of one’s sorrow and the resolution of one’s guilt about the dear departed.

While at the grave of a loved one, it may come clear to one that worldly life is not meant for eternity. With each subsequent generation, the memory of the dead blurs a bit more. In due time, the dead, no matter how dear, are completely forgotten.

But for now, with those who still remember, the remembrance is worth celebrating – either individually or as a race. The celebration is as much about the dead as it is about the living. A time at the cemetery where loved ones are buried can bring back to mind all that the deceased had done and meant for the living, and it can be so heart-warming.

It is so easy to be immersed in the memory of a deceased loved one while being in the cemetery. There, one is prompted to reflect on his own life. Everything can seem to become light and bearable – even the conflicts and the hurts – as one realizes that the grave is where it all ends someday.

Each grave at the cemetery represents a life – a marriage, a family, a breakup, losses, financial struggles, achievements and successes. Instead of avoiding the place, one may get good focus for his life by paying it a visit. The cemetery teems with both the examples and warnings of the lives of those buried there.

A visit to the cemetery has immense value for the family. Parents shall emphasize with the kids that it is not to be a picnic. While it can be reassuring to be in the silent company of departed family members, it is primarily about paying respect for those that have gone ahead – to ponder on those lives past.

It is one of the fundamental purposes of the human family for the living to honor the memory the dead – for the young to build on the achievements of deceased elders as well as learn from their mistakes. And so they may prosper as a species – the future may be better than the past.