Growing Old at Home

CEBU, Philippines — At a certain age, a person will just find life to be different. The stairs get harder to climb. Meals become mostly canned food. And home becomes the only place one is comfortable in.

These are common issues for old people, especially those that live by themselves. And most old people want to live by themselves, even with the insistence of younger family members who are eager to take the old folks in. “I can manage on my own! It’s too late for me to change homes!" the elderly would say.

Some old people don’t want to move into their children’s homes, apprehensive that it would curtail their personal freedom. Others don’t want to be a burden for the young ones. And so they insist to remain in the same home where their children grew up in.

But home life is no longer the same at this point in their lives. Yes, they may still stay in their own home as they get older – except that now they require help or assistance. This help or assistance is not limited to financial subsidy from income-earning children. 

Old people who live independently need other supports as they to continue to live by themselves. The website www.nia.nih.gov enumerates the areas of day-to-day living where the elderly needs help or assistance and where to possibly find it: 

Personal care. If bathing, washing one’s hair, or dressing getting harder to do, maybe a relative or friend could help. Or, if possible, a trained aide may be hired for a short time each day.

Household chores. Is help needed with chores like housecleaning, yard work, grocery shopping, or laundry? Some grocery stores and drug stores now take orders over the phone and deliver the items to the customer’s home. There are also cleaning and yard services that can be hired. There must be someone in the neighborhood to help with laundry, for a fee; some laundry shops also pick up and deliver laundry.

Meals. If worried about not having nutritious meals or tired of eating alone, an elderly person may share cooking with a friend or have a potluck dinner with a group of friends. Or, eating out together once in a while gives a good chance to catch up with one another. If one finds it hard to get out, he or she may contract someone to bring a healthy meal a few times a week. In the city, there are several meal delivery services that bring hot meals into homes; and the service need not be so expensive.

Money management. Paying bills late or not at all is a concern among old people. They need to get help with such tasks. Maybe a trusted relative can lend a hand. For old people who could use a computer, they could pay their bills online nowadays. They may check with their bank about this option. Regular bills, like utilities and rent or mortgage, may be paid automatically from their bank account.

They should be careful to avoid money scams. Never to give their sociatl security number, bank or credit card numbers, or other sensitive information to someone on the phone (unless they are the ones who placed the call) or in response to an email. They shall always check all bills, including utility bills, for charges they do not recognize.

Even though they might not need it now, they shall think about giving someone they trust permission to discuss their bills with creditors or your social security or Medicare benefits with those agencies.

Health care. Older people often fail to take their maintenance medicines on time. There are devices available for alerting when it is time for the next dose. The cell phone’s alarm clock may be set accordingly. Special pill boxes are also available to allow the elderly person or someone else to set out one’s pills for an entire week.

If it’s hard to remember the doctor’s instructions on visits to the clinic, it helps to have someone younger to come along with the elderly person. The companion may be asked to write down the doctor’s instructions; or if a companion is not available, it’s better to ask the doctor to put his instructions in writing.

Medical emergency. If an elderly person lives alone, it scares the rest of the family thinking of a possible medical emergency. If the elderly were to suddenly become sick and unable to speak for himself, there has to be someone who knows the patient well to decide on his medical care. To make sure this happens, the elderly person shall think about giving someone he trusts permission to discuss his health care with the doctor and make necessary decisions. And there should be a kind of medical alert ID – like a bracelet or necklace – that the person can just press to alert family members in case of an approaching emergency.

Completely planning ahead is hard because one never knows how his or her needs might change. But, at least, one can try to figure out ahead the kinds of help that might be necessary in the near future. The best thing of all to consider is to grow old at home with caring family.