Matrimony

I used to dislike weddings as a kid. I couldn’t understand why the Mass, which already seemed so long, would get even longer. And there were all these relatives that I had to kiss and behave in front of. As I grew older, however, I started looking forward to attending weddings because it meant I would get the change to dress up and maybe even get ideas for my own wedding. When my sisters, cousins, and friends started to get married, I began to see how weddings were these wonderful occasions to gather with loved ones and more importantly to celebrate love.

Just because I have chosen the vocation of single life doesn’t mean that I cannot appreciate the beauty of a meaningful wedding or of a good, solid, holy marriage. After all, I was raised in such an institution. My vocation was nurtured by such an institution. And more than 80 percent of my friends are either married, about to get married or hope to get married someday.

When I was a lot younger, I used to think the best weddings were the ones where the bride wore the most expensive gown, designed by the most famous designer; where the color scheme brought out the elegance of the reception hall and where the most famous people could attend. Eventually, I realized that it really wasn’t about all the external stuff at all – that what made a wedding meaningful was the solemnity of the Mass, the heartfelt Homily of the priest, the genuine love and affection of a couple and the family and friends that stood with the couple to support their lifelong commitment.

It may not have been a big deal in the past, but commitments suddenly feel like a bigger deal now. I wonder if it’s because I grew up and fully understood the nature of commitment or because the world around me changed. But in this day and age, entering a commitment whether in married life or one’s work life or even one’s faith life doesn’t seem like such a given anymore.

People can actually go through life without formalizing a commitment, without making an official statement either in the eyes of the law or in the church. So when people choose to defy the odds, to stand firm in their beliefs and to say to the world, “I (or we) believe in forever, in ‘till death do us part,’ in holding on to each other ‘in sickness or in health, for better or for worse,’” I feel comforted. Strangely, I feel reassured that the world isn’t such a harsh place after all. That people do still believe in love and sacrifice.

All in all, weddings, and more importantly, marriages, when done for the right reasons really can be beautiful, graced events – a visible sign of God’s presence. Over the years, maybe it wasn’t the fact that the weddings I attended became more or less ostentations, expensive, or over-planned. Maybe it was just the fact that I had learned to recognize where God was in all of it.