The snail and the tongue

I am very active with social media. I post stuff every day which gather many “likes,” “shares,” and there certainly are many “comments.” Most comments come in terms of agreement and encouragement. Still, I have had certain “unidentified entities” who would regularly and viciously disagree with my thoughts and would, from time to time, systematically bash me. I do not block or cancel them, but I have lived with the fact that not everyone would agree with me, and not everyone would like me.

You may not be as active as I am in social media, but even in your sphere of influence and operation, you know that there will be people who do not like you and people who would love to criticize you. This experience and reality are leveled up many notches, especially if you happen to be in a leadership position. And we should constantly be reminded that how we handle it will decide whether we will succeed or fail miserably.

You might say that the rantings and the bashing and all those bitter criticisms hurled against you are harmless, and you may even begin to chant the famous phrase: “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” But trust me, words are powerful, and many good people are hurt permanently and rendered dysfunctional due to the bitter words and criticism hurled against them. Words are powerful. It carries the ability to build up and the potential to tear down. A boss’ negligent use of harsh and rude words spiced up with some colorful expletives can render people permanently disabled.

Years ago, I came across an article that made me conscious and careful with my tongue. The article that is credited to anonymity begins with the words: “Watch the tongue carefully. Remember the snail.”

A snail is a fascinating creature. Naturalists tell us that it has teeth on its tongue! A scientist examining one such organ under his microscope counted as many as 30,000. The snail keeps its toothy little tool rolled up like a ribbon until it is needed; then, it thrusts out this sharp appendage, and, although its teeth are tiny, it saws through the most rigid leaves and stems with comparative ease. And so is our tongue. The tongue bites ever so painfully with our critical words with teeth in it.

The pandemic has brought about a great degree of uncertainty. Fatigue, fear, and stress are heightened. There is just so much negativity around us. And an insensitive critical boss whose rash and rude way of communication can quickly render people impotent. This is the time when people need a lot more encouragement than criticism.

And if you happen to be on the receiving end of unfair criticisms hurled against you. It would be best if you took it as feedback designed to point out weak spots that enable us to improve and become better. And if the criticism is unwarranted and unfair, then remember that their erroneous opinion about you does not define you.

Some years ago, an elderly preacher died. Many people had severely and unjustly criticized him for being old-fashioned in his methods and messages. Overhearing a snide remark about this man of God who had always been jealous and earnest, the undertaker took up his defense. Turning to the critic, he said, “Well, maybe he had some faults, for no man is perfect, but he was the only one I ever prepared for the burial with large calluses on his knees!” And then the critical tongue was silenced.

Meanwhile, you and I can train ourselves to be more encouraging. These are challenging times when a lot of people need it these days. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe says: “Instruction does much, but encouragement everything.” Robert Fulghum says: “Yelling at living things does tend to kill the spirit in them. Sticks and stones may break our bones, but words will break our hearts.” And a personal favorite quote on criticism for me goes this way: “Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. Then when you do criticize that person, you’ll be a mile away and have his shoes!” (just kidding!)

(Francis Kong will run his Level Up Leadership 2.0 Master Class Online on April 20, 21 and 22. For inquiries and reservations, contact April at +63928-559-1798 or and for more information, visit www.levelupleadership.ph)