A little smile and a little laughter
BUSINESS MATTERS BEYOND THE BOTTOM LINE - Francis J. Kong (The Philippine Star) - April 26, 2020 - 12:00am

Ever had Cabin Fever? Those many days of being locked down in our houses not allowed to go anywhere.

I have friends saying, “I’m getting out of my mind.” “I need to go somewhere.”

While the situation caused by COVID-19 is grim, the reason why we are in ECQ is because it is only one of a few proven ways to flatten the curve and prevent the spread. Being locked down in the house for more than a month is a new experience for many. And can be excruciating for those who are used to staying out and going out all the time.

I thought of taking a little break from all the serious stuff I have been presenting in this column for the past weeks and give you a collection of some funny quotes I have gathered. This is not to reduce the gravity of the situation but to elicit a little smile or laughter on our faces even while ECQ has us locked down for many days.

Here is the collection of quotes I gathered, and I hope you enjoy these:

• “I need to practice social-distancing... from the refrigerator.”1

• “Still haven’t decided where to go for my vacation – The Living Room or The Bedroom”

• “Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they still fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.”

• “Homeschooling is going well. Two students suspended for fighting and one teacher fired for drinking on the job.”

• “This morning, I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house and told my dog... we laughed a lot.”

• “My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee, it cleans the toilet.”

• “Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.”

• “Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said, ‘I hope I don’t have the same teacher next year…’ I’m offended.”

• Day 7 at home, and the dog is looking at me like, “See? This is why I chew the furniture!”

• “I’m so excited – it’s time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?”

• “I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda. I’m getting tired of Los Livingroom.”

• In 2019: Stay away from negative people. Today in 2020: Stay away from positive people.

• The world has turned upside down. Old folks are sneaking out of the house, and their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors!

• This virus has done what no woman had been able to do... cancel all sports, shut down all bars, and keep men at home!!!

• Do not call the police on suspicious people in your neighborhood! Those are your neighbors without makeup and hair extensions!

• Since we can’t eat out, now’s the perfect time to eat better, get fit, and stay healthy.

• Does anyone know if we can take showers yet, or should we just keep washing our hands???

• I never thought the comment, “I wouldn’t touch him/her with a 6-foot pole,” would become a national policy, but here we are!

• Me: Alexa what’s the weather this weekend? Alexa’s response: It doesn’t matter... you’re not going anywhere.

• When this is over... what meeting do I attend first... Weight Watchers or AA?

• Quarantine has turned us into dogs. We roam the house all day looking for food. We are told “no” if we get too close to strangers. And we get excited about car rides.

Oh well, we hope and pray that the situation improves. That we all can go back to work, but we do have to expect that things will no longer be the same.

Meanwhile, we have learned to appreciate the simple things in life. We begin to appreciate health and the importance of family and relationships. We begin to see that this crisis has brought out beautiful people doing heroic deeds and we get to know our neighbors now and we begin to become more neighborly. We will get past this, so a little practice of smiling and laughing will all do us good.

(Connect with Francis Kong in www.facebook.com/franciskong2. Or listen to “Business Matters” Monday to Friday 8:00 a.m. and 6:30 p.m. over 98.7 DZFE-FM ‘The Master’s Touch’, the classical music station.)

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