Knowing the who

A wild-eyed man, dressed in a Napoleonic costume and hiding his right hand  inside his coat, entered the psychiatrist’s office and nervously exclaimed, “Doctor, I need your help right away.”? 

“I can see that,” the doctor said. “Lie down on that couch, and tell me your problem.”?         

“I don’t have any problem,” the man snapped. “In fact, as emperor of France, I have everything I could possibly want: money, women, power — everything! But I’m  afraid my wife, Josephine, is in deep mental trouble.” “I see,” said the psychiatrist, humoring his distraught patient. “And what seems to be her main problem?”?

“For some strange reason,” answered the unhappy man, “she thinks she’s Mrs. Santos.” It is so obvious in this case that Mr. Santos is having a grave identity crisis.

Here is another story from someone working with the airline industry.

One ground personnel from an airline company said:

“Working at an airline ticket counter, I pulled up a passenger’s reservation that showed his name as “Cole, Pheven.”

“I’d like to be certain our information is correct,” I said to him. “What is your first name?”

“It’s Stephen,” he replied. “I hope the reservation agent got it right. I told him it’s spelled with a -ph...”

In our first story, which is obviously fiction, Mr. Santos had a problem with his identity. In our second story, the identity of the person was altered by someone who misspelled his name.

Either way, the identity of a person is challenged.

Identity is important to a person. And trust me, many still do not know who they really are.

Somebody says: “The greatest challenge in life is to discover who you are, and the second greatest is being happy with what you find.” (anon).

Many of my colleagues in the speaking industry talk about the need to know your “why? Echoing the theory of Simon Sinek, they argue that a company needs to know their “why” first before their “what”. This idea shared by Simon Sinek in his Ted Talk last 2009 has resonated well throughout the business community. Its effect has spread out into speakers borrowing the same principle and applying it into the individual life. I have actually heard a young speaker addressing the crowd by saying, “Do you know your “why” to your existence?”

I am not too sure about this, but having lived for so many years in this planet, I have certainly concluded that a person does not know his or her “why” unless the same person has determined his or her “who.” In other words the “why” refers to meaning and purpose which is determined after the identity is properly and accurately established. Let me illustrate:

• Have you ever been so frustrated with someone that you asked, “Just who do you think you are?” I have not heard of frustrated people blurting out: “Just why do you think you are?”

• Have you ever heard angry people ask” “Don’t you know who I am?” They do not say, “Don’t you know why I am?”

Many people do confusing things and put themselves in harm’s ways because they have an identity crisis.  Identity is important to a person. While most people today talk about the popular thought of knowing the “why” in order to determine one’s purpose and meaning, philosophy, sages and even Scriptures establish the need to establish identity first as the foundation of knowing the rest of the questions that plague us.

This is why we start with the basic questions that have plagued humanity:

1. “Who am I?” (See how we always start with this one) — This refers to our identity.

2. “Why am I here?” (purpose) — As one famous author would say, “What is the world am I here for?”

3. “What should I do?” (ethics or morality) — Now, we want to make sure that what we do is the right thing that would not harm us or even others, for in doing so it might lead to our own self-affliction.

4. “Where am I going?” (destiny) — There is an existential awareness that this world where we are in is not a permanent place and that this world is changing and so are we.

A starting enterprise usually knows who they are. This is why they manufacture the stuff or offer the services they do. But over time, they lose their identity. They no longer know whether they are in the manufacturing, export, service or trading business, and then their why gets so messed up they do things that depart from their core. This is not because they do not know their “why,” but because they have lost their “who.” This also applies to us individually. People lose their identity by being confused with so many things they want and do, so that they lose their core.

I think we should be careful and think through trending thoughts and buzzwords from best-selling books that are being echoed by speakers and trainers and do some deep thinking to first establish what our identity is, recover the core, and do business or live accordingly.

Yes, I agree that the times you enjoyed so much what you do, they are not random happenings, they are the things you do that align with your purpose. But think about this; the day you feel most fulfilled is the day you are most creative. It is because it aligned with your Creator.  Socrates did say that, “An unexamined life is not worth living.” I believe that, and let me add that an unexamined thought is not worth thinking of. 

Mark your calendars on Jan. 25, 2019 for the much-awaited event “Power Up for Peak Performance”! It will happen at the Samsung Hall, SM Aura, BGC. This whole-day event will feature a power-packed cast of fantastic speakers and will take place from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. For further inquiries or advanced reservations, contact April at +63928-559-1798 or register online at www.powerup.ph)