What is your story?

I love stories. Maybe you love stories too.

Even the business world realizes the importance of stories. This is what those company audio-visual presentation is all about. Telling the story of the company. And what testimonials are all about. It’s people telling stories about their companies, a product or a service they either love or abhor.

You and I have our unique stories. And may I ask: “What is your own story?”

There are two kinds of conversations that take place every day in our lives and we are its constant participants. These are the conversations we have with ourselves in our minds and the conversations we have with others.

Our minds are noisy and they are filled with endless chatters. The fact is that in many cases, the internal conversations with the self is louder, articulate, more powerful and effective than those that take place outside it. If you want to be successful you need to control your own story.

The story we tell reflects the totality of the wins and the setbacks we have in our lives. In other words, we are either the summary of all our wins or the summary of all our setbacks and that is what comprises the conversations we have with ourselves almost every single moment of the day.

So you have had setbacks? You have experienced failures? Big deal. Who hasn’t? But realize this. Nobody sees your past except you and if you do not understand these, your conversations and stories will always hinge on the negative and it will debilitate you from doing your best and can limit you from achieving future success.

We are usually hardest on ourselves. We punish ourselves for the setbacks we have experienced and feel humiliated every time we wonder what other people say about us. Well, here is a reality check. Those who care for you see it but they want you to be better. Those who do not know you do not even care. So, what is the big deal anyway?

Nobody sees the struggles you had, they don’t know about the fires you needed to put out, the fights you had with those who wanted to see you fail. You are the only one who sees it. Nobody knows about the doubts, the struggles, the rejections, the hurts, the injuries and frankly even if they do, they don’t care as much as you do.

This is why it has been said, “Stop whining and stop complaining. 20 percent of the people who hear you complaining do not care because they have enough problems of their own and 80 percent of those who hear you complaining think you deserve it.” Your setbacks and mistakes may feel ever-present, but it is only to you and not to anybody else.

What do other people see? They only get to see the finished products. They only want to see quality of your completed work and what will benefit them, not even you. So why do we allow our past setbacks to stifle us from achieving future success? It does not even make sense.

Others… meaning parents, bosses or friends… enjoy bringing up your failed past and frankly I do not know the motivation behind this but you need to practice saying: “THAT WAS THEN. AND THIS IS NOW.”

Your setbacks and hardships made you to be who you are. They should not be haunting spirits that would nag you to death, they should serve as battle scars and badges of honor of the unique experiences you had that has formed you to be the person you are today.

The upside of setbacks is not just hard earned wisdom but becomes an inspiring story that appeals, attracts and strive people to you based only on one condition... that you do well today. This time they will care and they do care.

Your project failed? Your presentation was ridiculed? Your public speaking bombed? You lost money? Your business went south? You got hurt? You were cheated? Somebody steals your business away from you? Are these setbacks? Of course, but good! This means you have stories to tell. And if you had a major setback then double good! This means you have an epic story to narrate.

Here is a personal experience and lesson I would like to share with you. What sucks before was seed for today’s success. And so… What story are you crafting?

(Ken Blachard and John Maxwell’s accredited industry practitioners and subject matter experts join Francis Kong in an afternoon conference titled: LEADERSHIP EXCELLENCE -THE WINNING EDGE! On March 2, 2018 at City Club at Alphaland Makati. For registration and inquiries contact Jacque or Mary at 0917-8173736 or call Inspire-UN Leadership Consultancy Inc. 777-6038)