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When the Good Girls lead the pack

The MTV Movie Awards is the I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter of awards shows — ultimately harmless and nonfattening, but after ingesting, you can’t help but wonder if the lack of nutritional content is causing your health more harm than good.

This year proved no different, with all the frothy awards like Best Kiss going to Twilight’s head-wringingly cringe-worthy bad Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart.

As the previous couple of years have proven, Twilight fans dominated, voting and eventually forking over a considerable number of awards to the teen drama. One wonders what fangirls have to look forward to once Pattinson retires the fangs.

The highlight of the evening was clearly Reese Witherspoon. The 35-year-old Oscar winner gamely accepted her Generation Award and shared the merits of being a Good Girl in Tinseltown, telling the audience, “It’s also possible to make it in Hollywood without a reality show.”

Her final word of advice? “And if you take naked pictures of yourself with your cell phone, you hide your face.”

Reese Witherspoon

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BEA: If only the dress lived up to her talent. This is what happens when you dress down, Witherspoon. You go straight from Chanel to, well, Walmart.

CELINE: What’s up with the Vegas hussy look? Make that Lake Tahoe.

Amanda Bynes

B: Her feet look like they were possessed by a really hairy llama.

C: Now this is entertainment.

Kristen Stewart

B: Her acting is about as uncomfortable as this dress.

C: She looks happy. Just as weird as the Spiderman-inspired dress.

Leighton Meester

B: Love her in this, loved her even more in that made-for-TV movie Country Strong.

C: Being a Leighton fan, I’m so glad she ditched her old stylist and finally dresses better than Horsey Lively.

Blake Lively

B: Girlfriend never met a body-con dress she didn’t like.

C: The bandage dress may be totally over but it seems to stick on Blake Lively…in a good way.

Elle Fanning

B: Fanning is artlessly charming and natural on the red carpet — a nice change of pace from the hyper-styled Balmain queens in safety pins (Paging: Stewart).

C: She’s trying to be the new indie queen with her I-don’t-care romper, but it just really puts me to sleep. Like her movie Somewhere.

Emma Watson

B: Not feeling it. That fringe is the only thing keeping this dress from looking matronly.

C: So desperate to get out of her Harry Potter shell, she’s now a Real Housewife of Beverly Hills.

Selena Gomez

B: I have a suspicion that a Bieber fanatic replaced Selena’s actual dress with this ensemble. This outfit is fine for brunch with your boyfriend’s fanatics who send you death threats via YouTube, but not for the MTV Movie Awards. I mean, Kristen Stewart is covered in safety pins right. next. to. you.

C: Upstairs all is well. Then you get the cast skirt that looks very mental hospital-like. I know she’s trying to be edgy, but the look is just over the edge.

Emma Stone

B: Like any rising young star, her designer clothing prospects rise with every hit movie. It looks like Easy A did her a solid.

C: She got it right. Thank heavens the red is back.

Jessica Szohr

B: She’s walking wallpaper.

C: Bridget Riley will sue you from the dead.

Chelsea Handler

B: On another woman, this would be Lanvin. On Chelsea, it’s just another dress her stylist forgot to iron. Get this woman a structured cocktail dress stat — hold the cocktail.

C: The dress makes her seem sophisticated. A brave choice in a sea of neon.

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