Let’s hear it from the boys

A few weeks ago, the Internet exploded with reactions to Emma Watson’s HeForShe campaign. This week, we asked three guys from different backgrounds what they thought about it.

MANILA, Philippines - The day Emma Watson stepped on that podium and shakily but steadfastly delivered that speech on HeForShe, the UN’s newly launched gender equality campaign, social media went ablaze with quotes, screencaps, commendations, and reaffirmed girl crushes.

However, there was one glaring thing I noticed on my feeds: Most of the people sharing and commenting on the HeForShe campaign were still women. It got me thinking, this campaign is fundamentally about inviting and welcoming the male half of the world to participate in the conversation, yet I was hearing very little from them.

And so we decided to seek out and gather a few men of different ages, from different industries, and of different perspectives, to see if and how the HeForShe campaign resonates with them. Included in the group is Spike Acosta, a marketing associate; Mark Ruiz, a social entrepreneur; and Howard Uyking, a marketing professional and joined the discussion via phone call.

Out of the several participants we invited, three accepted our invite gracefully, while some felt the need to throw in a few sexist jokes (“Will there be sandwiches at the round table discussion? You think you can make us some?”) before finally not showing up anyway.

It’s appalling that even in the democratic act of genuinely wanting to hear their side of the spectrum, understand where they are coming from, with the hopes of having an intelligent exchange of ideas that can improve lives and society, some people still think that immature sexist comments is an acceptable or even entertaining way to respond. Even so, we find that the people who have the gall to type such comments only have courage when hidden behind their computer screens, but lack the conviction when asked to stand by their statements in person. 

Here are excerpts of the discussion:

Young STAR: How did you hear about the HeForShe campaign and what was your initial reaction to it?

Mark Ruiz: I first found out about it on Facebook ‘cause it went viral. To be frank, I was at work so it was in the background. I wasn’t actively looking at it but the general reaction seems to be more positive.

Spike Acosta: I found out about the campaign through social media as well. I was browsing through Twitter. Emma was retweeting pictures of guys holding up signs for HeForShe. I have not actually seen the video but I’m aware of what it’s about.

Howard Uyking: Actually, the first time I heard about the speech was in 9gag. It’s an Emma Watson post but I didn’t know that it was about gender equality. And I thought, “It’s another feminist campaign. What the hell.” After that, I realized that with the comments, this speech might be something different. So I decided to read it.

What do you think of the campaign and why is it relevant or irrelevant to this generation?

Howard: The reason why I said that it isn’t a typical feminist campaign was because she involved the guys in gender equality. When she discussed it here, she wasn’t only talking about women taking on male roles but males taking roles that are typically done by females. She mentioned that guys also have the right to be sensitive and girls also have the right to be aggressive without being judged. At first, I thought she was really being fair but then as the speech progressed, it started targeting guys.

It’s not only the men creating a sexist environment. Women do it as well, but she didn’t acknowledge that. Women also create stereotypes and gender-specific roles, which Emma is trying to destroy. The campaign shouldn’t be just called HeForShe. It should be HeForSheForHe.

Mark: I understand where it’s coming from. But personally, I’ve never seen a he versus she dynamic ever since. I’m married to a very strong personality and I found that normal. My mom is a very strong personality also. That’s why I’ve never seen a dichotomy between feminism and all of these things. For me, there’s no divide.

Spike: Gender equality should have been a prerequisite even before. It’s sad that it reached a point where Emma had to go to the UN and talk about it. But I’m not complaining. Because there are still people there who apparently think that women should be shackled by what society tells them. If you want a gender specific role, go for it. If you don’t want to, you’re free to go there as well. Women should not be bound by what society tells them. 

Howard: (The campaign) doesn’t really apply to us as much as in other countries like China and Saudi Arabia. Women are really treated unfairly there. What applies to us are the small things, the stereotypes. Just to quote something from the speech: “I’ve seen young men suffering from mental illness, unable to ask for help for fear it would make them less of a man.” The people who are saying that this person is less of a man aren’t just men. The speech shouldn’t have been directed to men, it’s should have been directed to women as well. It’s all about gender equality.

Spike: Women also play a big part why they’re in those roles but it’s 50-50. Women and men play a part. If you convert the men, that’s already 50 percent. A lot of people have been trying to empower women before with all the feminist movements. It’s already been done and it’s been decades. I think it’s also good to try out the other 50 percent of the equation. I think that’s something different that Emma is bringing to the table.

Howard: But she’s actively telling men to participate in the campaign. I really can’t find a phrase in the speech to get women to participate in gender equality as well, ‘cause their opinions on men matter too. 

Spike: It’s been decades that women have been telling other women to empower themselves.

Howard: This isn’t about empowerment. It’s about women creating stereotypes and gender roles for men. Women also play a part in sexism. How men should be, how men should act.

Spike: I get your point but it’s tapping a different market. Again, it’s 50 percent women, 50 percent men. Women have been trying to flip themselves for so long to be stronger. Both play roles but it’s the first time that the men have been targeted. I’m saying that it’s about time that women tell men what to do this time, instead of women telling women what to do.

Gender issues have been around for decades. How relevant do you think HeForShe is in this day and age?

Howard: I think it’s very important. For example, when women court men, she will most likely be labeled as slutty or promiscuous. And in media, it’s always the guy courting the girl. In our generation, I would want to see the roles reversed. No one should be judged for their actions. 

Mark: The world is presumably getting smaller and culture is beginning to bleed across geographies. I think right now, globally, younger people can be more connected and be more open and rebellious to previous generations. Hopefully, the younger generation — and again, this isn’t going to happen overnight or in one generation — in China, in Africa or Japan might be able to take on this challenge.

Spike: For this campaign, I suppose it’s going to be hard. For some people, the gender roles are religious, even. This campaign, I suppose, is just the start of something. The social media campaign, at least, is a flash in a pan. But the seed has been planted, so it starts there.

What do you want to see come out of the entire campaign? What do you think the HeForShe campaign can ask of you that you would very readily commit to?

Mark: It’s like asking me to fight poverty. It’s so…

Spike: Obvious.

Mark: Yeah. For me kasi it’s normal. I kind of understand that to some people it’s not normal. And I want to breach that divide. Saying na you know, it’s normal for me. And maybe the people who see it as abnormal would see it as normal.

Howard: Maybe the abolishment of gender roles and gender stereotypes. I think that’s the most basic thing that Emma wanted. Once you eliminate certain gender roles, you eliminate prejudice. After that, people are free to act according to what they think is right without being judged based on their gender.

Spike: I’ve been HeForShe even before HeForShe (laughs). This should be a prerequisite. Di na kailangan sabihin sa mga tao yun. What I’ve been doing all my life is HeForShe already. So if you’re asking what I would do, it would be just to continue, I suppose.