That girl called Angelica

MANILA, Philippines - There is a condominium unit somewhere in Mandaluyong that once served as actress Angelica Panganiban’s secret refuge. Only one friend, the owner of the condo, knew the actress’ whereabouts. Angelica was going through a devastating heartbreak, and she wanted — needed — to be alone.

Never mind that the condo was totally bare. Never mind that the only thing keeping her from suffocating was a wall cavity waiting for an air-conditioning unit to be installed. After all, she wasn’t there for fun. She was there to cry. That unfurnished shoebox was the perfect place to weep without being seen by her friends, her family, and her managers

“Bagsak na bagsak ako n’un,” she recalls. This was 2010 and Angelica was in the midst of shooting the teleserye Ruby. No matter what was going on in her tumultuous love life, her professional side, the one that’s been hustling since ’93, wouldn’t let her miss any scheduled taping. (“Sumisipot ako sa work pero hindi nila alam kung saan ako nanggagaling, kung saan ako pauwi.”) Needless to say, her loved ones were worried sick, begging her to tell them what was going on. They had every reason to fret, really—the last thing a girl with a congenital heart problem needs is any kind of added heartbreak.

It took a scary trip to the hospital for Angelica to snap out of this funk. After shooting an intense scene for Ruby, the actress found herself still crying long after the director yelled, “Cut!” (And it’s for sure not because she’s into method acting.) “Nag break down talaga ako. Nung naninigas na ako, dinala ako sa ospital,” she recalls. She was confined for the night, and had an epiphany in the morning: “Pag gising ko, ayoko ng umiyak. Naubos talaga.”  As soon as she was released, Angelica went back to her own condo, ready to get back on her feet. The one glorious upside to this dramatic episode? “Ang ganda ko n’un. Sh*t, sobrang payat ko n’un. 24” ’yung waistline ko. 24!”

AN IMPULSIVE TRIP

Angelica channeled this episode in her performance in the upcoming film, That Thing Called Tadhana. In the movie, she plays Mace, a depressed woman who goes on an impulsive trip to Baguio with a stranger named Anthony in tow. This, after her long-time boyfriend unceremoniously dumped her in one of the most romantic places in the world: Rome. (Curious, but Angelica also went to Baguio immediately after her own month-long cry fest in 2010. Yes, she had a show there, and celebrities like her have to fulfill their end of the bargain if they don’t want lawsuits hounding them, but Angelica chose to extend her stay to get some R&R.)

In a memorable scene in the film, Mace sings Whitney Houston’s Where Do Broken Hearts Go at a seedy karaoke bar. We had to ask Angelica, why is Baguio such a popular destination for the heartbroken? “Tahimik? Malamig? Nakakaiyak? ’Pag naiyak ka na sa Baguio, yung rukrukan na, sasabihin mo rin sa sarili mo at some point, ‘Uuwi na ako. Mukha na akong tanga.’ Dun ka lang uuwi para ayusin yung buhay mo.”

The Baguio connection is perhaps why Tadhana, which was made on a measly budget of P2,000,000 and a tight shooting schedule of seven days, is poised to become one of the rare indies to be embraced by mainstream audiences. “Alam ko na maraming makaka relate,” Angelica says confidently. “Para sa akin naman, nand’un ’yung challenge na bawat linyang binabato ko, may isa na matatamaan. And sa panibagong linya may isa na naman.”

Of course, that was right up her alley. The movie’s writer-director Antoinette Jadaone says Angelica’s superpower as an actress is her versatility: “Malalim siya, whether drama or comedy. Pag play mo siya ng halaman, feeling ko keri pa rin niya.”

There’s palpable respect between the director and the actress, but Angelica admits Tonet challenged her one-take rule. See, Angelica hates having to re-take a scene, especially if the scene involves 12 pages of monologue. But Tonet often requested not just a re-take, but all-together different attacks on the scene. There might have been some eye rolling and audible sighs on Angelica’s end, but she delivered. And that heart-wrenching scene on the bangketa is one of Tadhana’s finest moments.

Speaking of tadhana: These days, of course, after “countless” heartbreaks, Angelica is in a much happier place with boyfriend John Lloyd Cruz. And that thing called tadhana brought them together, she believes. “May mga bagay talaga na hindi mo kontrolado eh. Kasi ang tagal na naming magkakilala, pero never kong naisip na magiging kami.” What she’s learned from all those heartbreaks is “the right guy will never push you to harm yourself.”

So, where do broken hearts go to mend? we ask Angelica.

“Feeling ko talagang babalik ka kung saan ka nagsimula, sa mga kaibigan mo, sa pamilya mo,” she answers. “Sila yung babalikan mo para magpaalala sa ’yo kung sino ka dati bago ka nasaktan, bago ka naging bitter pagdating sa love.”

And to the bagong-break reading this, some sage advice from this heartbreak veteran: “Kaya mo yan. Si Jennifer Aniston hiniwalayan ni Brad Pitt kinaya niya! Sino ka para hindi kayanin to?!”

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That Thing Called Tadhana hits theaters nationwide on Feb. 4.

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Tweet the author @IrishDDizon.

Photo by KENJI ONGLAO

Produced by DAVID MILAN

Makeup by MICKEY SEE

Hair by JOHN VALLE

Dress by VANIA ROMOFF