Are you for or against divorce?

These past weeks, we’ve heard debates on whether or not divorce should be legalized in our country. Being a devout Catholic, I, too have found myself against divorce. But the more I listen to the arguments, the more I realize that yes, we have to be open to the possibility of divorce. We have to be more sensitive to the arguments by women who have been victims of their spouses’ infidelity and abuse — both physical and emotional. Shouldn’t these women be given the option of divorcing their spouses?

But again, the divorce bill will only serve its purpose and be the ultimate solution if its amendments are supportive of women’s rights.

Dina Bonnevie, TV host and actress: I am in favor of divorce. First and foremost, it gives a woman some security. In divorce, a woman can ask for alimony and support for the kids. I’m lucky that I work, but what about those who don't? Most women who don’t earn a living stay in a marriage kahit na binubugbug na sila because they need the money to support the children. In my case, my first husband was having an affair with my best friend and got her pregnant. That wrecked our marriage. After which he again courted me seven times. Before we could give our marriage a second chance, he got another woman pregnant, and she happens to be related pa to him, hindi ba incest yon?With two pregnancies with two different women, it’s hard for me to forgive.

In the case of my second husband, battered wife ako. I was also physically and verbally abused. My children had to go through therapy for this. I was also the breadwinner in the family because my second husband was not even earning. He also told me he was divorced when in fact, he had married three other women before me. One is a black woman who is still after him until now. But we tried to make the marriage work by going to counselors and joining all these seminars like Couples for Christ.

I’m speaking from experience. Divorce will save more families because a man can no longer fool around and get away with it. He will have to pay alimony. He has to support your child. You don’t have the hypocrisy of annulment which means the marriage never took place when in fact it did.

I married my husband because we loved each other. But our marriage didn't work out. Even a child psychologist will tell you that it will do more damage to the child if you and your husband stay together in a broken marriage.

In the States, snoring can be a ground for divorce. I think couples should divorce for more substantial reasons — like infidelity. The sad thing is, I don’t think the divorce law will stand a chance in Congress which is dominated by men.

Pops Fernandez, actress/TV host: It's about time we had divorce. I do not mean to encourage families to separate, but hopefully it will make sure that women and children are protected and provided for in cases where the man decides to leave them for another woman. In our culture, which accepts that men fool around, divorce will make sure that men are held responsible for the families that they have left behind. I’m speaking for women who don’t work, leaving them no choice but to stay with their husbands. These women just keep quiet in spite of being abused because they are afraid that once they let go, they wouldn’t know how to provide for their kids. As a Christian, I would rather see families together. But for women who are in abusive marriages, I feel we should allow divorce in our country. Annulment is worse because it means that the marriage never took place. Kawawa naman the kids. We’re just running away from the facts.

Phoemela Baranda, commercial and ramp model: No, I’m not for divorce. If we legalize divorce, it’s like legalizing separation. I feel that married couples should stay together and try to work things out. It’s like giving an unsuccessful marriage another choice instead of trying to take another chance and working on their marriages. So for me, it’s not a good idea.

Johnny Revilla, businessman: Uh, oh, I’m going to get into trouble here. Yes, I’m for the divorce bill. I think if people do not belong together, they should not stay together. It’s as simple as that. If you stay together for the sake of the children, and it makes life more difficult for them, I’m for divorce. But I’m not going to divorce my wife (smiles). I love her dearly.

Sandy Daza, owner, Mai Thai: No, I’m not in favor of divorce. I feel divorce is so centered on the person. Before you consider divorce, consider the children who are going to be affected. I feel that any relationship can work as long as it’s God-focused. When I say God-focused, it’s reading the Bible. There are instructions in the Bible on how you should be as husband, wife, teacher, employer, employee and if you obey them — which is not very easy in fact — I think any relationship can work. The Bible also says that what God has put together let no one separate.

Miriam Qiuambao, beauty queen, TV host: I believe in the sanctity of marriage. I believe that both husband and wife have to do everything they can to solve whatever problems they have in the marriage. I’m not for the divorce bill in this country.

Cynthia Villar, congresswoman, Las Piñas: I am not for divorce. I’m a member of Couples for Christ and they’re against it, so I’m taking the stand of the CFC.

Gloria Diaz, former Miss Universe/actress: Siyempre naman, I’m for divorce. So that the husband can pay alimony and then at least the wife can remarry if she wants. My kids didn’t want me to separate from my husband, but they should not have anything to do with it. Until now we still have to discuss and talk about it and I don’t think they will ever accept our decision. Always do what you think is right. But of course, you have to give the marriage your best. You just don’t jump into divorce or annulment. Pero pag talagang no hope, go for it.

Elizabeth Cunanan-Angsioco, national chairperson of the Democratic Socialist Women of the Philippines and president of Support Service Institute for Women, Inc.: We agree that the family should be protected, but what kind of family do we want? In the traditional sense, the family is a societal unit composed of father, mother and their children living in one home. However, beyond the composition of the family, don’t we also mean that these people involved must live in an atmosphere where love, understanding, trust and respect prevail? If these are gone and instead hatred, abuse, violence and/or mistrust become the norm, do we still call this societal unit a family?

In our country where violence against women, specifically wife battering and abuse are prevalent, must we force women to stay within an abusive relationship so as not to "destroy" a family? Truth be said, this kind of family is already ruined and there is nothing more to destroy.

It is also important to emphasize that the pro-divorce position does not necessarily mean an all-out support for the bill presently filed in Congress. According to various women’s and advocacy groups who have studied the bill, there is so much to be done to make the bill adequate and women-friendly. We would like to see these amendments in the bill before women’s groups say they truly support it. The need for a divorce law cannot be questioned. The law, however, should truly be supportive of women, who in the first place are the ones primarily abused in marriage.