Old age love

Robert Redford was my teen-crush. I remember his many roles that made him one of the most awarded Hollywood actors so when it was announced that he was making a film with Jane Fonda in “Our Souls at Night” I was more than eager to see him again on the screen. He is now 80 years old. How does he look at that age? Would he have the irresistible macho I fell in love with and determined to look for someone who looked like him?

I had a crush in real life who looked like him but he had lost the appearance of youth, his face was wrinkled and he had a bulging stomach. Still what was in my mind was why Redford would produce this film at his age and with such a provocative title – Our Souls at Night. Did he mean what we become when we grow old and what it does to most of us?

It was announced that the showing of the film would be available on Flipside. But since there was no one at home who would help me get into that app I just read about it until I would see the film itself. How could I write about a film I had not seen? I was most eager to know how other old people cope when they fell in love. The characters of the film were in the same situation I was, living in an empty nest although not quite 80.

The story was adopted from a novel by Kent Haruf.  It is a simple story of simple people living ordinary lives. The kind of stories that do not lead to excitement or extraordinary events. As a reviewer in The Guardian said Haruf just wanted to continue doing his job as Haruf. He was dying but these were the thoughts that came to him. 

“He could go on writing about how hard it is to go on doing what you see as right when you aren’t sure how to do it, or even whether it is right – how hard we are on one another and ourselves, how hard most of us work, how much we long for and how little we mostly settle for.

This is all solid, satisfying novel-stuff, and in this last book something very rare has been added to it. Many novels have been about the pursuit of happiness, but this one is luminous with its actual presence.”

The story begins when (Jane Fonda) Addie casually calls on (Robert Redford) Louis Waters. They had been neighbors for a long time. One day, Addie boldly asks her widower neighbor if he’d consider coming over to her house sometimes to sleep with her. It was quite unusual especially because they lived in the small town of Holt in Colorado. It was not acceptable behavior for a woman and not especially in a small gossipy town. 

“I mean we’re both alone. We’ve been by ourselves for too long. For years. I’m lonely. I think you might be too. I wonder if you would come and sleep in the night with me. And talk.”

He does not answer but says he would think about it, thinking about the risks such a relationship would bring and certainly not at their age. But Addie had broken the ice of separation and the act delivered a promise which may or may not succeed. The next day he takes up Addie’s proposal. It was unusual because it was not for marriage, not even a fling. She wanted a companion at night because she needed someone near her to be able to sleep.

Indeed on the first night being together in bed Louie was still thinking about how to start a conversation but when he finally did get the courage to talk she was already snoring.

Not before long they get used to each other. The agony (if indeed it is) of eating alone and then washing the dishes was over. He had a companion and finally saw the wisdom of accepting Addie’s proposal.

When Louie finally gathered enough courage to begin a conversation again he asked her what she thought of the weather. Addie said that was not what she meant by a companion in conversation. She wanted him to talk about his past life and how he became a widower living in Holt.  He caught on quickly and Addie reciprocated talking about herself. Having opened to each other’s life, they ceased being strangers.

Louis would come every night with a brown grocery bag with his pajamas and toiletries and pass through the back door. Addie had to tell him to use the front door and not to be afraid of gossip. She never was.

The director of the film Batra was able to draw out the characters of the “souls at night.” They were old and had had their fill of life and their own stories to tell. It was the basis of companionship at night. Of course they did end up intimate with each other but it came ever so slowly and tenderly.

From companions at night baring their souls out to each other, they came out of the dark to face the sunshine – daylight together. The happiness was cut short when Addie’s son, jealous, interfered. The ending was back to how it all began. They are alone again as a soul in the night.

I finally saw the film when my daughter, Veronica after a stint in Bangladesh visited and put the app Flipside on my computer. Since then I have watched it more than once. The film ends with Jane Fonda asking what they should do now and he replies. “well we can begin by talking about the weather.”