A grandmother’s wish #28StoriesofGiving

MANILA, Philippines - Locating Conchita Atole’s home in Bagong Silang required a somewhat steep climb, littered with uneven steps, barking dogs and children running to and fro. It almost made one wonder how a woman her age manages to move around the rolling terrain.

A modest bungalow with a warm welcome is home to Lola Conchita, her two children, a daughter-in-law and four grandchildren.

It is the sight of her grandchildren that makes her momentarily oblivious to the family’s plight.

She is all eyes and ears on grandson William David, whom doctors have diagnosed with congenital feet and leg deformities, called Genus valgus.

Albeit shy compared to his boisterous playmates who could move around freely, William David is the picture of a happy child. He has a civility and gentleness about him, holding his grandmother’s hand when he needed assistance, exchanging hugs with his youngest cousin.

One look at the child’s distinct features, especially his big, piercing eyes, can melt the heart. “Ang pogi mo naman,” we said to William, to which the curious child just smiled, possibly getting accustomed to neighbors and random onlookers telling him the same thing over and over.

William, his Lola Conchita says, is the product of an interracial relationship gone awry – between her daughter, then in third year college, and a British boyfriend she met over the Internet.

“Sabi ng anak ko dun sa foreigner, ‘nag-aaral pa siya, kaya siya na lang ang pumunta dito (My daughter told her boyfriend to come over since she was still in school),” recalls Lola Conchita. The foreigner obliged, lived in with her, and for a time supported her education, until she became pregnant with William.

After telling the family that he’d have to go back to his country, the Atole family never heard from William’s father again.

Though born “knock-kneed” on both his legs, William is quite cheerful and unmindful of his handicap.

“Masayahing bata yan. Minsan lang, nalulungkot, hinahanap kung sino daddy niya. Sinasabi na lang namin na wala (He’s a happy boy, he just feels down sometimes when he asks who his father is. We just dismiss the question),” Lola shares.

At first, they resorted to massaging William’s legs when they noticed that he could not manage even a few steps without losing his balance. The family was later informed by doctors of his condition.

“Nilagyan siya ng brace sa Orthopedic. ‘Pag walang brace, bumabaluktot yung binti niya tapos yung paa niya tabingi (They put braces on his legs. Without the braces, his legs are bent and his feet are arched),” William’s Lola explains.

Though she thinks about William constantly, it’s not as if his condition is Lola Conchita’s only burden.

In a spate of misfortune, she lost her husband and her son one after the other. This was a big blow to the family, as they were the breadwinners. At a time when women customarily took to being devoted homemakers, Lola Conchita was consigned to being a dutiful housewife.

Fortunately, her daughter, William’s mother, offered to take up the cudgels for the family, only to be sidelined by stroke in September last year – at age 25.

Setbacks, so they say, come in threes, and Lola Conchita has met her quota.

She fixes her glance on William David, and then breaks into a loving smile. It is quite obvious that her grandson means the world to her.

“Sa school, hinahatid ko siya. Inaakyat ko sa hagdanan. Nakakaawa kasi pag di makaakyat. Minsan tinutukso siya ng iba (I bring him to school and lift him up the stairs. I feel sorry for him since he cannot help himself, and he sometimes gets a ribbing from his peers),” Lola avers. Unlike the sorrow one feels from losing a loved one, hers is a kind of heartache that comes from a love that burns.

Asked if he has a hard time walking or playing, William shakes his head. He would love to have a new toy. For William, life is normal, after all – he has a family, a home, and he feels loved.

Meanwhile, Lola Conchita is in constant touch with his doctors at the Philippine Orthopedic Center, and they tell her that William needs new braces soon.

“Ang sabi ni Doc, kailangan na palitan yung brace kasi masikip na yung sapatos. Minsan kasi natatanggal na rin, tinatali ko na lang (His doctors are saying that he needs new braces as he has outgrown his old one. His old one sometimes comes off, and I have to string it together to keep it from falling apart),” she explained.

It’s not as if William is her only burden.

Lola Conchita has her family to think about; there are eight mouths to feed from day to day, and her son’s job at a service station is all they have to stave off hunger.

But William means the world to her, and she hopes to get him those new leg braces and shoes that he needs, and the therapy that will give him a shot at becoming a normal child.

Is there hope for William’s deformity to be corrected?

“Sana nga po (I hope so),” was all Lola Conchita could say.

For now, it is all that matters to her.

In a matriarchal society such as the Philippines, strength is an attribute commonly associated with women from all walks of life. Although she has played a reticent role as housewife all her life, Lola Conchita is no exception.

For this, we celebrate her, and her story of giving.

(Editor’s Note: The Philippine STAR’s #28StoriesOfGiving is a campaign that turns the spot- light on 28 inspiring stories of people and organizations who have devoted their lives to help- ing themselves or others and are in need of assistance. Everyone is encouraged to post or “tweet” a message of support with the official hashtag, #28StoriesOf- Giving. For every Twitter and Facebook post, P5.00 will be added to The STAR’s ‘give back’ fund. For comments and sugges- tions to #28storiesofgiving, email [email protected] follow @philippinestar on Twitter or visit The Philippine Star’s page on Facebook.)