My mother, my hero

MANILA, Philippines — "Spare the rod, spoil the child." Many parents today believe in this adage, which has been passed on for generations.

Many grown-ups today brag about how they were allegedly raised to become "upright and responsible" individuals because their parents practiced corporal punishment with them when they were younger. To these grown-ups, the parents of olden times who used physical violence as a means of instilling discipline are somewhat heroes or role models to look up to.

But that's not the case for 22-year-old Uriel Galace, who works as a foreign affairs research specialist at the Foreign Service Institute of the Department of Foreign Affairs (DFA) in Manila. The recent graduate of the Ateneo de Manila University believes that you don't have to be spanked to grow into a conscientious and successful individual.

"Nanay . . . never used physical punishment on me and my brother Miguel. (Instead she) would use nonviolent techniques like ‘time-outs' whenever we did something wrong. She got us to do well in school, not by pressuring us to achieve academically, but by setting an example and instilling in us good habits. She's loving and nurturing (perhaps to a fault!) and we always felt that we had that parental support that all kids need at such a critical juncture in their lives," Uriel says.

The woman Uriel refers to as nanay is no other than Jasmin Nario-Galace, a professor at the International Studies Department of Miriam College in Quezon City. Concurrently, she is also the executive director of the school's Center for Peace Education, national coordinator of the Women Engaged in Action on 1325 (WE Act 1325) and head of Pax Christi Philippines.

Professor Jasmin had a provincial upbringing and experienced being bullied during her grade school and high school studies in Manila. The psychological violence she endured at the hands of classmates is what inspired her to devote her life to espousing non-violence and peace education.

Jasmin has lobbied for the adoption of an Arms Trade Treaty in the United Nations, which would regulate the trade of weapons used to commit human rights violations and crimes against humanity. She has also helped promote understanding and reconciliation among Christian and Muslim youth in the Philippines as part of PeaceTech, a series of video conferences between Filipino youth from different parts of the country. She and members of her organizations also lobbied for the passage of Bangsamoro Basic Law and various legislations that promote gender equality and respect and protection for women.

Her work in peace education also extends to her home—in the way she raised her children.

"We talk about peace issues at home: the rise of dangerous leaders, the possible re-imposition of death penalty, extrajudicial killings, denigration of women and the threat of nuclear war, among others. There are times we declare a time-off during our conversations when we realize that our frustrations are getting the better of us. But I am happy that all these years, my children have always taken the side of life and human dignity," Jasmin says.

Now, her children Uriel and Miguel are trying to imbibe her core values of peace, respect for others, and commitment to human welfare and dignity. Not to mention her work ethic.

"Nanay used to love how, as a kid, when she would ask me how much I loved her, I would wave my arms in a circular motion while saying in a high-pitched voice, ‘Madami po. Madaming-madami po (So much. So very much)." Even though I'm older now, I hope she still knows that my love for her is still madaming-madami and will always be that way," Uriel says.

Meanwhile, for parents like her, Jasmin has this advice: "Teach them that there are non-violent ways of resolving conflict. Spare the rod, mute the scream. When there are issues, sit down with the children and dialogue in a gentle manner, focusing on mutually acceptable solutions to the problem. Teach them the absolute value of life, the indivisibility of human rights, about equality between men and women and peace as being the presence of justice."

Lyn Montallana Macatuno, mother of Earvyn Joczenn and Ryan Jasper, found a way to combine her cooking talents with sharing her blessings. A full-time mom, executive chef, and catering business owner, Chef Lyn manages her time between family and her key advocacy: organizing outreach programs that give toys and school supplies for kids in tribal communities and typhoon-affected areas.

"In 2015, I saw a post on Facebook about a group of mountaineers who organized outreach programs—giving food, school supplies and medicines—for Dumagat tribes in the mountains of Rizal. I joined this group with my younger son, Ryan Jasper. Soon, through common friends and connections, I started climbing more mountains and organizing outreach programs myself.

"The farthest location I reached was in South Cotabato, when I was fortunate enough to meet the T'boli community. I was very happy to learn some parts of their culture. My usual role is in the kitchen, cooking food for other volunteers. Sometimes, I also serve as emcee during programs. Both my sons are very supportive of my advocacy; even my younger son accompanies me sometimes," describes Chef Lyn.

"I'm very happy that they also learned the value of sharing blessings. I learned a lot from interacting with many people, it makes me really happy. I'm hoping and praying there will be more volunteers involved in reaching out and helping our fellow Filipinos. Giving your time is already a big help. It's the simple things, like the bright smiles from children, that brings true happiness."

School principal Annabelle Rafiñan Castro, mother of Nathaniel, Janina Mae and Hannah Krystel, is the head of Lumban Central Elementary School in Lumban, Laguna. In 2002, while assigned to a far-flung barrio school in Sta. Maria Laguna, she observed that students with poor nutrition don't perform well school.

And so, she decided to make a difference, showing that sharing and caring comes naturally with her generous, loving heart as a mother.

"Life is quite difficult in barrio schools compared to that in the poblacion, especially in terms of how parents attend to the health and nutrition needs of the pupils. Parents devote most of their time to work and earn a living for the family and sometimes, the students' nutritional status is taken for granted, not realizing that poor nutrition may lead to poor education," shares Mommy Annabelle.

"These observations encouraged me to help undernourished pupils improve their nutrition and health by providing them with breakfast before morning classes, like lugaw, sopas and milk. Because of meager resources, I also try to look for some generous and potential donors or sponsors to feed the children. Sometimes, I ask donors to sponsor a feeding program during Christmas or Valentine's Day.

"Just a small amount, around P300-P500, may be sufficient to feed a group of 20 undernourished pupils. I believe that pupils become happier, perform better in school and improve their health status when provided with healthy food. Even when I was transferred to other districts, I selected one small far-flung school where I sponsored a feeding program. I couldn't afford to do it regularly because of too many school activities, but I am trying to continue my simple advocacy. There is always joy in sharing what I have, especially to my less fortunate pupils.

"They are special to me; I consider them my ‘other children' inside the school, a homey and humane institution that they can call a ‘second home'," Mommy Annabelle adds.