Couples who train together, stay together

Psychology Today published in a report that couples who work out together don’t just build muscles, they also strengthen their relationships. The feature highlights five distinct advantages of couple workouts.

Training together increases your happiness with your relationship. “Lab studies show that after jointly participating in an exciting physical challenge or activity, couples report feeling more satisfied with their relationships and more in love with their partners. Exercise is a perfect example of the type of invigorating activity that can have these positive effects. It’s the physiological arousal, rather than the novelty or challenge of the activity, that drives romantic attraction. This suggests that sharing a fitness goal (such as training for a 5K or triathlon), taking regular runs together, ballroom dancing, or having a date night at the gym can boost the quality of your romantic relationship,” they explained.

Another benefit cited is the improvement of the efficiency of your workouts. When you are competent in doing an exercise or sport, bringing along your significant other is a great way to boost your energy output. You’re inspired and studies say that the presence of your partner will improve your speed. Experts are quick to say though that it is better to practice a new sport or exercise first on your own though if you are the type who may be distracted by the presence of your partner.

The feature also said that exercising together is a way of making your partner fall in love with you. “Exercise induces the symptoms of physiological arousal—sweaty hands, a racing pulse, shortness of breath. These symptoms mirror, in many ways, the thrill of romantic attraction. Interestingly, people can easily mistake the two and misattribute physical arousal for romantic attraction.”

It is also easier to achieve fitness goals when you support each other. A healthy lifestyle is a commitment and it’s easier to stay focused when your partner is passionate about it, too.  Lastly, the feature said that training together can increase your emotional bond. “When you work out together, you create a context in which you can coordinate your actions. For example, you might lift weights in rhythm with your partner, match your own walking or running pace with his or hers, or toss medicine balls back and forth. Such behavior creates nonverbal matching, or mimicry, which benefits you both. Nonverbal mimicry helps people feel emotionally attuned to one another, and those who experience or engage in it tend to report greater feelings of having ‘bonded’ with their partner.”

Through the years, I’ve seen a lot of people meet, fall in love and marry each other after sharing a passion to stay fit and healthy. One couple shines as a great example of how this common passion for fitness has shaped their lives for the better. Reyn Talosig and Che-Ann Kubota even joined two contests last year together, one was the BODYCON which they both won and the other was “R U Tough Enough (RUTE)” by Kix. Both were part of the 10 grand finalists in RUTE which writer/model/athlete Reyn finally won. In the first ever BODYCON, Reyn was chosen as Mr. Gold’s Gym while Che-Ann became the first ever Ms. Shape.

The lovely couple also shares a deep faith in God, which locks in their dynamic relationship. We asked them a few questions to draw inspiration on how praying and training together can keep love forever.

The Philippine STAR: Have you always been athletic? Have you always been this fit? If not, how did you start? In your relationship, who influenced who in becoming stronger?

CHE-ANN KUBOTA: I don’t have a big weight loss story, but I’ve always been fit and healthy. As a woman and a TV and print model, I would like to think that through the years, I was able to improve my fitness knowledge when it comes to training smart and eating wise. For instance, if I need to lose weight for a particular project, I am glad to know that it is possible to do so healthily by eating the right foods and not just by simply reducing my food intake. I learned karate when I was in high school and ever since, I have always been into martial arts. Hitherto, I am currently enjoying Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ). I found it very challenging not just physically but mentally as well. It is like playing chess, strategically speaking.

REYN TALOSIG: As far as I can recall, I have always been active as a kid. Prior to the age of touch-phones and tablets, I would be out on the street playing tag, marbles, langit lupa, agawang base, cops and robbers, patintero and, of course, climbing fruit trees like makopa, mango, aratilis. The street was my playground.  My dad runs and was a karateka so he got me and my brother into it early on.  I have always been a fan of Bruce Lee since I was in elementary school, his philosophy and martial arts have greatly influenced and shaped my beliefs.  When I was in college, I got into sports as much as I could. I did sportsclimbing, Greco-Roman wrestling, and running. It was only last year, when by God’s Grace I won the RU Tough Enough contest, that I felt confident somehow that I was relatively fit. As a couple we are blessed to have this dynamic relationship in that we complement each other’s strengths and weaknesses. I push Che to become stronger in her running and basic calisthenics and she inspires me in my Jiu-jitsu game.

Based on your experience, what are the three reasons why people fail to reach their fitness goals?

CHE: When their goals are not specific, when they don’t have discipline, commitment, and when they don’t seek and surround themselves with people who can motivate and inspire them to achieve their goals.

REYN: Same as Che, but I would like to emphasize one thing: passion. It is what drives someone to do the things he/she does.

What are the most common myths about fitness?

CHE: For women, lifting heavy stuff can make you big. Women do not have testosterone, hence they won’t get big.

REYN: Another would be “spot-reduction,” in that, for instance, you can have that “six-pack” articulated if one does only abdominal exercises. One has to address the over-all body fat of an individual and not just a particular area. Also, if one goes to the gym and simply lifts weights, so to speak, ergo one is fit. There are various components to physical fitness and not just strength alone. One has to also factor in flexibility, mobility, and agility as well as cardiovascular fitness. Fitness is supposedly holistic. Hence, it is possible for a 70-year-young woman to be relatively fit.

What are the most important changes one should do in his life to improve his fitness level?

CHE:  To change your mindset and really understand your goal. To change your relationship with food because you have a choice in what you’re putting in your body. And surround yourself with the people who can push you and not criticize you for striving to be fit and just pull you down and pressure you to have bacon and soda!

REYN: It is also important, I suppose, to have an ‘open and critical mind’ in that it allows you to have the liberty to adapt to changes in one’s life. This applies to training methods and exercises as well as the latest info regarding food. There are latest developments, for example, regarding good cholesterol in eggs and the value of milk. Training-wise, in accordance to one’s specific fitness goals, a procrustean method is disastrous. There are specific functional exercises for, say, a basketball player and an MMA fighter.

How important is it for partners to share the same passion for fitness? Does it deepen your relationship or do you compete with each other?

CHE: No one can influence your mindset, decisions, and motivations than the people you chose to be with, so the most influential factor on your health is the health of your relationship. That’s why I am really blessed because we share the same passion for fitness and so much more because it definitely made us fitter, stronger, and happier as a couple. We always have a healthy competition because we challenge each other to be better, like in the gym, I’ll ask him if he can out-plank me or he would ask me to beat his PR in mile repeats on the treadmill, or can you not use the elevator and meet me on this floor? Simple things like that push us both to strive harder.

REYN: As Che highlighted above, it is very important. You get stronger individually and collectively as a couple. The connection and level of understanding are deepened. It is vital to be kindred in a lot of ways and it is equally important that in doing so, one gets to know his/her partner on a deeper level. Sports/physical fitness can bring out the best and worst in someone. Dealing with frustrations can be equally meaningful as dealing with victories. Both cases allow you to see your partner and know him/her more intimately. And it makes one strong. Both stronger. And as “one,” strongest.

Is breakfast your most important meal? Tell us what you take.

CHE/REYN: Yes, it is important, as it jumpstarts your body, hence “breaking the fast.”  We typically have steel-cut oatmeal with fruits (banana, apple or berries), honey, some cinnamon and flax and chia seeds. But upon arising, we drink water immediately.

What is your current fitness goal?

CHE: To be able to compete in high-level Jiu-Jitsu competition soon and beat my 5K PR.

REYN: To compete also in BJJ. Beat my 10K PR. Improve my mobility and flexibility.  Do a Planche hold.

What is your workout routine?

REYN/CHEN: Upon hitting the gym, we usually do a warm-up routine composed of dynamic stretches and planks and other isometrics before doing basic ground-based movements that are very functional in relation to BJJ. We try to involve the whole body as a unit when we do our exercises. If, for instance, we are working on a push movement, we try to balance it out with a pull movement one after another.  Then we hit specific machines based on our individual fitness goals. We try to have an active rest in between sets so as to keep our heart rates up. Then we do cardio at the end. As much as possible, we try to attend different group exercise classes. It makes working out so much more fun and we learn a lot too.

What is in your refrigerator? How much and how often do you eat?

REYN/CHE: Chocolates! We are both chocolate lovers and as much as possible, we try to get the dark ones. But eating them sparingly, of course, and sometimes as a hard-earned reward after an intense training.  Of course, vegetables such as broccoli and other leafy green ones. Soymilk. Priobiotics like yogurt. Eggs. Poultry. Beef. Tuna. A lot of fruits! It depends on our training for the day — for example, we would try to load up on carbs if we are doing long and heavy cardio the next day, but typically, we try to eat as many as six to eight times a day. Breakfast being the heaviest meal, then occasionally snacking on fruits like apples and nuts.

Aside from fitness, what other shared values strengthen your relationship?

REYN/CHE: Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. There is no stronger foundation of any relationship than this. It brings meaning to your individual and collective existence. To deeply love someone who is constantly changing, moving, and adapting as a free, thinking, and creative individual is hard and somewhat impossible without the concept of an unchanging and unconditional love. From that knowledge cascades all values. You value your partner. You value yourself. Your life. Life is beautiful and meaningful and fitness becomes a means to enjoy this life longer, stronger. And fitness then becomes simply gratitude.

* * *

Post me a note at mylene@goldsgym.com.ph or mylenedayrit@gmail.com.