Year-end a-musings
A Cheesy Tale
A priest began his homily by sharing an incredible but true story about one of his parishioners who passed the bar exams with flying colors. The school board, however, questioned her because on the test paper, she wrote her name as Sincerely Yours’81 (sic). Was she serious? Sincerely Yours’81 caught the attention of the media and when interviewed, she gave her family background. “My father chose my name,” she affirmed.
Why? “Because when he was baptized, my grandma chose to name him Senado Kataasan (sic) (High Senate). He never forgot to even up the score. He named his firstborn Macaroni’68, and you guessed right. The numbers represented the year of my brother’s birth. My sister came next, Spaghetti‘70.” (This father obviously loved pesto and pasta).
Then his wife became pregnant again. This menopause baby, unexpected and unplanned, was baptized as Sincerely Yours’81.
Why? The father explained, “This baby was definitely the last of my offspring. I had to use a complimentary close (like in a letter?) to define our family tree.”
Kuya Macaroni’68 got married in 1991 and when his wife got pregnant, the grandfather insisted on naming his first grandchild. The name? Cheese Pimiento’93.
Why? The proud grandfather declared, “I love cheese. I’ll never run out of names for my succeeding grandkids!” Think Brie, Neufchatel, Roquefort, Brebiblu, Burrata, Gorgonzola, and Parmigiano-Reggiano. What about our native cheese Kesong puti? Will the next godfather be a cheese maker fromager?
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Road Revelry
On December 28, better known as Holy Innocents’ Day or Niños Inocentes, the priest was caught in horrific traffic. “I’m late for Mass!” he moaned.
The taxi driver quickly suggested, “Father, get down now and direct the traffic!” “But I’m already wearing my vestments!” he argued. “So much the better,” the driver replied.
Nervous but aware of the time, the priest got off the taxi and raised his hands to signal the cars, jeepneys, and buses to come to a screeching halt. (Oops! Mama mia, don’t run over him!)
One jeepney driver blew his horn to call his attention. “Father! You’ve been tagged; some of my passengers are your parishioners,” he hollered. When the priest turned around, indeed, three passengers alighted from the jeepney to kiss his hand. The other passengers saw this winsome gesture and exclaimed, “We, too!” They alighted from the jeepney, surrounded the priest, and kissed his hand and got his blessing. The whole riding public clapped and cheered at such a heartwarming sight.
In that sticky web of steaming hoods and burning tires, suddenly, a space opened up, enabling the taxi to ease out of the mayhem. “At last,” the priest sighed.
The taxi driver was blown away. “Father! See that? Why not cross and unfurl the traffic knots on the other side, too?” The priest laughed timidly as he wiped beads of sweat, “Let’s not make Jesus wait any much longer.”
How do we solve EDSA’s traffic? Fill every motorist with good humor and spread it fast.
“What was my topic before I was sidelined by traffic?” the priest asked. “Niños Inocentes,” the parishioners chorused.
He went on to relate the story of a young, pregnant girl who went to the abortion clinic. When it was her turn, her knees buckled under, “I won’t do it. I’m keeping this baby.”
Another pregnant woman related, “I was sweating. The sweat was just coming off of me on this chrome chair. When the door opened and it was my turn, I said, ‘Mom, I can’t do it.’ That’s why you see her here,” said the mother of Cher.
Celine Dion credits her family’s parish priest for convincing her mother not to abort her.
Jack Nicholson’s mother was pressured by her peers to have an abortion. She did not listen and never gave up her gift of free will.
Andrea Bocelli’s mother was advised to have an abortion after she was misdiagnosed with appendicitis while pregnant.
More personalities who were not aborted but given up for adoption: Moses, Nelson Mandela, Nat King Cole, President Bill Clinton, and Apple founder Steve Jobs.
When Jobs finally met his birth mother Joanne Schieble, she burst into tears as she apologized for putting him up for adoption. Schieble and her boyfriend, Abdulfattah Jandali, decided not to marry. Her father was dying and had threatened to disown her if she wed Abdulfattah. Joanne traveled to San Francisco, where a kind doctor sheltered unwed mothers, delivered their babies, and quietly arranged closed adoptions.
No child is a mistake. God has a purpose for every child.
As we open our hearts to a fresh beginning in 2016, may God continue to bless every child with awe and wonder. Let’s also celebrate the child-like innocence and spirit we nurture in each of us.
