‘Should I put my son in a rehab?’

DEAR EPPY,

Being a regular reader of your column, I read two of your columns that addressed issues of drug abuse.  The first article was published on March 24, 2015.  The article mentions a man using substances on a regular basis and wanted to change things in his life but did not want to go to a rehabilitation institution.

The second issue was published on June 30, 2015.  The issue was about compassion without condoning in the treatment of drug users.  It also stresses the point of equality.  May I know what you mean by this?

I have two issues to address with you.  I have my own battles with regard to drug use because of my son.  I am now considering putting him as an in-patient in one of the drug rehabilitation institutions.  Is this wise?  I noticed that you seem to imply that my son (or anyone for that matter) doesn’t have to be put in a facility for rehabilitation of drug use.  The second is: How can you make an in-patient feel that he/she is equal to anyone if he/she is put in a rehabilitation institution?   REFLECTIVE FATHER

DEAR REFLECTIVE FATHER,

I believe that your son’s condition should be assessed either by a licensed psychiatrist or a licensed psychologist.  They would be the best people to inquire about your concern.  Do not rely on a counselor of a rehabilitation institution unless this counselor has gone through the Philippine Regulations Commission Office board exams.

Philippine laws have been changing to protect our citizens from irresponsible people and those who lack the knowledge and experience in the helping profession.  In the past, counselors of rehabs were either former users of alcohol or drugs, or people who have talked to drug users, read a few books about addiction, took some unit courses in counseling or, worse, went to the Internet and checked out how to give treatment for addiction.  However, today, the Philippines does not allow anyone to counsel or professionally help anyone without passing the board exams either in psychiatry, counseling or in psychology.  Lawmakers are now more attuned to the necessity of accountability.

After you send your son to a professional and they give you their decision, ask yourself, “What is my purpose for wanting  to put my child in a rehab?”  For some people, they find that their child or family member has become a burden that they don’t mind spending some money just to keep that particular family member away from the home.  For some parents, they just don’t know what to do anymore and just accept whatever is suggested to them by others.

For me, structuring a family member is the best way to help any family member to stop their addiction to anything.  I don’t believe that putting people in a locked environment will help them always.  But if proper structuring (some call this disciplining) is introduced to an individual, then it minimizes the likelihood of succumbing to their need to divert their attention through substances.  Structuring comes with compassion, not anger and rage.

Therefore, if a person (substance abuser) is given structure, the sense of responsibility will be acquired, which will result in positive change. 

Accordingly, you are right.  I don’t believe in putting people in rehab centers.  But I acknowledge that there are those who may need special attention due to the gravity of substance use.

For your second question, if a substance user is always treated with respect by all the staff members of any rehabilitation, then the substance user will not feel that he/she is not equal to people when going through a program. 

NoBox at the Fort is a place where people go for this kind of help.  Joey Bacani and Inez Feria and their staff treat their attendees the way they treat anyone else.  That is, with respect that preserves the dignity of the attendee.  They don’t put down attendees, they don’t make attendees feel that what they feel and think is wrong.  They are given mental exercises to make them be aware of how they inherently think, not what the attendee “should” think.  “Should” implies to someone that he/she is wrong and ought to follow what another person says.

If your son would like to feel good about himself and see himself in a different perspective, then I suggest for you to send him to NoBox.  Their number is 556-6269 and their address is NoBox, 17th floor, Unit 1707, Trade and Financial Tower, 32nd St. corner 7th Ave. Bonifcacio Global City.

EPPY

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Email eppygochangco@gmail.com.