‘When is the right time to have sex that will not result in pregnancy?’

DEAR EPPY,

I came across your post and wish to know more of something. I am a guy who loves raw and natural sex with my fiancée. But because of the fear of getting my girlfriend pregnant, sex sometimes becomes a problem.  I don’t enjoy sex with a condom and I don’t wish my present girlfriend to use any pill because I want her to be my wife.  So I don’t want her to take anything that may be a cause for any side effects.  I plan to marry her.  It would probably be next year. So please, tell me when is the right time to have sex with her that will not result in pregnancy? She runs a 30-day menstrual cycle.

DARLINGTON SMART 

DEAR DARLINGTON SMART,

As I remember it, one of the methods of natural birth control is called the rhythm method.  This involves counting the days of the menstrual cycle.  Counting starts from the first day of menstruation until the first day of the next menstruation or menses.  If you have counted correctly and your girlfriend’s menstruation cycle is truly 30 days, then you have to identify the first day of the menstruation and count five days before and five days from that day. What’s between those days are almost 10 days of having the chance to indulge in sexual intercourse.  As my niece pointed out, “Isn’t that having sex during the menstruation period?”  I said, “Unfortunately, yes for a few days.  Not all though.  There are about five to six days when a couple can indulge in sexual intercourse with less risk of getting pregnant.

The question of my niece gave the answer to my question.  I was wondering why one has to count if it’s as simple as identifying the first day of the menstruation and adding five days or deducting five days.  Her question made me realize it’s not that simple.  You see, true, the first day of menstruation until the fifth day is so easy to identify.  But what about the five days before the first day of menstruation?  By knowing the number of days in a cycle of a woman, you can predict when the first day of menstruation will be.  Consequently, you will be able to predict when you can have intercourse for five extra days with your girlfriend without having to deal with the blood.  

There are men and women who get excited just thinking about sex with the menstruation.  But we all know that there are different kinds of men and there are different kinds of women.  Thus, there are also men and women who shudder at the thought of having sex while the woman has her menstruation.  Predicting the days before the first day of menstruation will help this type of people have a pleasurable sexual experience because they will be able to predict the days they can have sex without the blood.

I know you asked only for the rhythm method or the calendar method.  However, I’d like to share with you what I’ve learned from some readers about another form of natural birth control.  I know this sounds kinky, but this method is in itself as exciting as sexual intercourse.  Most of the time, your girlfriend has to do this test on her own.  But sometimes, as all couples know, sex can be boring after so many years of sex together with your partner.  You have to liven up sex with your partner again.  This method can provide you with the excitement that your relationship can benefit from.

You must understand that I am not a medical doctor.  You should consult a medical doctor as he will give a more accurate description of the processes necessary to have intercourse with less risk of pregnancy.  I am just writing this according to how any lay person understands what doctors have explained.  My understanding may not be accurate as well. 

You must also understand that there is no such thing as a “complete” and “successful” birth control method.  Even if we consider the condom and the birth control pills, you can’t be 100-percent sure that sex will not result in pregnancy.

 EPPY

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E-mail eppygochangco@gmail.com.