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'I am the king of the do's!'

That’s me and Eileen at the Royal Beach of Atlantis Palm Jumeirah in Dubai...

Abahoy, abahoy, onli in da Pilipins!

Lately sa showbiz natin ay kapansin-pansin

Ang ilang ta-artits natin to make a scene,

Tsinitsika mga things nilang mamahalin.


Sa Hollywood nga na ginagaya lang natin,

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Sa mga red carpet interviews ay pansinin —

Ang gown at suot hindi kusang sasabihin

Kundi sila tatanungin at kukulitin.


Karaniwan pa nga damit at nakabitin

Na mga alahas arkila’t hiram mandin,

Pinamomodelo lang at walang gastusin,

Pag natuwa designer pwedeng i-give na rin.


Oo nga’t datung nila gamit sa spending,

Pero ‘di ba dapat tayo’y medyo mahinhin?

Bakit sino ba pinagyayabangan natin

Kung hindi ang mas maraming poor na following.


May Louis Vuitton at Prada, Chanel at Hermes,

May maraming sasakyan — Ferrari’t Mercedes,

Meron pa ngang may yate, alahas at houses,

Sana lang you know how to spell “yate” sa Ingles.


Ang yaman natin, oo nga’t dapat enjoyin,

Meron pang mas cute — kung ibabahagi natin,

Ang yaman natin bakit kakailanganing

Ipagsigawa’t i-diaryo’t gawing news item?


Pagpapakumbaba ang kailangan natin

Sa panahong marami ang walang makain,

Gara’t ganda ng mga abubot mo darling,

Bakit hindi mo na lang hayaang mapansin?


Kahit ano’y hindi pinangangalandakan,

Kahit ano man ‘yan at kahit kabutihan,

Paghanga ng kapwa ‘di nga dapat abangan,

Mahalaga’y hangaan nung nasa ulunan.

* * *

In the course of watching the matches at the Barclays Dubai Tennis Championships every afternoon and every evening for five straight days (Feb. 24 to 28), and every time the umpire calls, “Deuce!” — it somewhat puts me into alert mode. Why? Because it sounds like, “Jews!” Ngak!

Remember, it was also the time of the controversial banning of female tennis player Shahar Peer of Israel from joining these games, to which the organizers were fined around $300,000 by the Women’s Tennis Association (WTA).

According to a tournament official, if an Israeli is allowed to play, the security level will be different. And worse, no cell phones will be permitted inside the court. I didn’t bother to ask why. Afraid. Juice please.

Even in sports like tennis, the mixing of the sexes is forbidden in an Arab territory like Dubai. In this particular event, the WTA players played first starting Feb. 15 until a winner emerged. The men’s matches started on Feb. 23.

Of course, there was no mixed doubles, stupid!

I watched with my wife Eileen, Eat, Bulaga! producer Tony Tuviera and wife Madeleine, Weena Lim and Zen Villanueva and Vic Sotto with his (bahala na kayo) — Pia Guanio.

Vic and I had fun eating and cheering. Whenever the fans of Spanish player David Ferrer shouted, “Viva España!,” we would segue to, “Viva Hot Babes!” 

During breaks and match changes, I make up things and ideas, naturally only funny and crazy, as to what’s going on around me. While others just sit, sip or sleep, I script. Actually, this is the normal me. Walang waiting-waiting time and travel-travel time sa akin. During long flights, I seldom sleep. I just write from airport to airport — that is why I don’t have a best friend — but I have the best pen. Hmmm.

Yes, I’m always thinking, creating, writing and doing something. I am the king of the do’s! (Hindi ba parang tunog “ Ako ang hari sa dos!?” Ngek!

My mind works even in times of relaxation. Sometimes, even in my sleep. You are right — I am a “make-up” artist.

Here are some — Had French tennis player Gilles Simon won over Serbia’s Novak Djokovic in the semi-finals, my sports headline would have been — “French fries Serb in Dubai heat!” 

When Serbia’s Djokovic played against Spain’s Ferrer, I wished that the umpire would be playful enough and announce, “The Serb will serve first.”

* * *

Today, before S.O.P. is the second serving of Joey’s Quirky World on GMA 7. On the other court at TV5, the third serving of Wow, Mali!  will be at 6 p.m.

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