Albert: Life won’t be the same without Liezl

For the first time since his wife Liezl Martinez passed away last Saturday, March 14, Albert Martinez recalls their last days together when Liezl’s cancer (of the breast) first diagnosed in 2008 metastasized in other parts of her body. Liezl was in remission for almost five years. When her cancer came back middle of last year, it was very aggressive but the couple put up a good fight against it.

Here’s Albert’s story, in his own words:

‘I don’t know how I can recover from this. It’s something so painful that I cannot describe – the longing, the loneliness. We spent 29 years together and survived all the trials and the struggles.’

In September last year, Liezl underwent another CT scan. Unfortunately, we saw something that we were not expecting. Her cancer has metastasized in her bone, and there was thickening of her liver, her ovary and her kidneys. So Liezl underwent another round of chemotherapy and another stem cell therapy. She also had a vaccine. Okey na, or so we thought.

We started living a normal life all over again, just like in 2010 when Liezl was on remission from the breast cancer that was diagnosed two years earlier. Later on, her lungs were briefly affected and she got over it. She was well until September last year. She went through a thermo-imaging scan, a procedure available only at St. Luke’s. Some of the cancer grew smaller, the ones in her bone and her liver, and the one in her ovary was gone. In so short a time, may mga tumubo uli.

Sometime in October, we had another meeting with the team of doctors who suggested that Liezl undergo another round of chemotherapy. Liezl and I talked about it and we agreed. The cancer had become very aggressive. The chemo sessions started in November and Liezl adjusted the schedules because she wanted to go to the States, ending on Dec. 10. She left with our daughter Alissa on Dec. 11, with the doctor’s permission.

The rest of us couldn’t join them on the trip. I still had commitments in Manila and so did Alyanna and Alfonso, our other children.

Liezl and daughter Alissa during one of their weekend Muhlach clan parties where they had fun having barbecue and recalling fond memories. Holding of the parties was rudely interrupted when Liezl was rushed to the hospital two weeks ago after she suffered a seizure.

Liezl and Alissa traveled around California, starting in San Francisco where they were joined by our friends there. There, she and Alissa visited our old houses, the first in Vallejo and the second in Benicia. She sent me the pictures with the houses in the background. We kind of retraced our steps down Memory Lane. That was good. Then, she went to L.A. to visit her dad (Romeo Vasquez) and joined her cousin Aga (Muhlach) and his wife Charlene (Gonzalez) in Las Vegas where they welcomed the New Year. We…Alyanna and Alfonso…spent  the New Year with the Cojuangcos (Tonyboy and Gretchen) in Calatagan. We were in touch with Liezl and Alissa. It was the first time that our family didn’t spend the New Year together. But we did miss each other. Aga would later tell me during the New Year celebration, Liezl went to the room alone and Aga kind of cheered her up.

When she and Alissa arrived in early January, Liezl underwent another scheduled chemo sessions and the continuing stem cell therapy. We were dealing with a different type of cancer which was very aggressive, which was spreading very fast, and which wasn’t reacting to the new medication.

“Papa, let’s stop this,” Liezl told me when she realized that so many of her vital organs were damaged at bale-wala lang sa cancer niya ‘yung mga gamot at procedures. “Let’s stop na the chemo. It’s my fourth time (since 2008 when she was diagnosed with cancer) to undergo the chemo sessions, we have given the procedure a chance and it’s not working anymore. We have to try something different.”

So we went to The Farm in San Benito in Tagaytay to try the ozone-and-Vitamin C therapy. It worked for her for a while. Right after the first therapy, Liezl looked and felt like brand-new. On our way to Tagaytay, she was complaining that my car was so bumpy when actually it was not. But on our way back, she wasn’t complaining about my car’s suspension. I told her, “You looked great! We were holding hands, we were laughing. We were so happy!”

After two weeks, we went back to The Farm for another treatment. I was shooting, so she went with my team and the driver. She came back and she was okay.

And then, unexpectedly, her health started deteriorating. But she continued her duty as board member of the MTRCB (Movie and Television Review and Classification Board). She and Alissa attended the screening of Fifty Shades of Grey, the last time that she reviewed. She was down already, having a hard time.

From then on, every time she came home, I would assist her, inaakay ko na siya. She couldn’t breathe well so I ordered for oxygen tanks at home. We started with a five-pounder, then the 10-pounder and two 20-pounder which she consumed in 24 hours. We found out that her cancer was in her stomach na, it crumpled her stomach so she couldn’t eat. She started losing weight. I wanted to bring her to the hospital but she said no, “I’d just die in the hospital. If I would be cured, I want it at home.”

That was in February. We were like running a hospital at home. We requested the doctor to go to our house and we hired a nurse to regularly check her blood pressure and to do regular blood chemistry. She was in pain medication. She was deteriorating little by little. She didn’t want to be confined in a hospital and we followed her wishes.

Then, I suggested that we hold a Muhlach clan party and we had barbecue in the afternoon. It was the last time that Liezl spent with the Muhlachs. Kuwentuhan sila, ang saya-saya, and the party lasted until one o’clock the next morning. One Saturday, it was a group of Muhlach relatives (Aga, Charlene and their family); then, another group of Muhlachs the next Saturday.

First Saturday of March, Liezl couldn’t talk anymore. She complained, holding her chest, that her palpitation was going too fast. I was in tears. She looked at me and asked, “Why are you crying?” I said, “Because you promised me that you‘re taking your medicines but you are not.” She said, “One at a time, Papa, one at a time.” She was taking Buscopan to stop her intestines from being swollen. Every time she took something solid, she threw up.

I’d been reading the symptoms and I knew that something was terribly wrong. I called Aga, “You better come na.” Aga came with Charlene and they kept talking to Liezl but Liezl wasn’t responding anymore. She was only saying, “Ah, ah, ah!” The entire family started crying. I told the kids, “One of these days, Mama will go. It’s not gonna be long.” I told my father-in-law to come over because Liezl might go that weekend. (Note: Liezl died at 6:14 Saturday morning, March 14. Bobby arrived from L.A. late night that same day.)          

I hardly slept that Saturday night. I woke up at 2 o’clock and moved to Alyanna’s room and slept there. I woke up at 4 a.m., checked on Liezl in another room where she slept with Alissa, who was serving as her nurse. I told her, “Mama, I will go now. I have a shoot (for Sugo, the film about INC head Felix Manalo)) in Laguna. She mumbled, “Okay,” and I told her, “I love you” and she mumbled, “I love you, too.” I kissed her and I said, “Wait for me.” She said, “Ah, ah.”  And then I left na.

Monday, March 9, I got a call from Alfonso that his Mama suffered from a seizure. Alissa was able to wake her up and they rushed their Mama to the nearby New Era Hospital to be stabilized and it was the New Era ambulance that brought Liezl to Medical City. All the while, I was in communication with my mother-in-law (Amalia Fuentes). I called her, it’s my obligation, because she has a right to know what was happening to her daughter.

At the Medical City, the doctors told us that, ito na, it was terminal. That’s when I started throwing up, nothing was coming out of my stomach but I kept throwing up. Maybe from too much stress. At the private room where Liezl was brought, I continued throwing up. Still, nothing was coming out of my stomach.

Her doctors were giving up but I told Liezl we were going to fight the cancer together. I fired one doctor and hired a new team. I told them, “Let’s do it. If I can buy one minute, one hour, one day, one week…let’s do it. I’m not allowing you to give up. I just talked to my wife and she said that we have to fight it, so let’s do it!”

Liezl did well for a while. Her vital signs were okay, her heartbeat was okay, her blood chemistry was okay. But on the fourth day, Friday the 13th, her condition started deteriorating again. She wasn’t in coma. We checked her eyes and she was reacting but she wasn’t moving.

Her medications were changed. I was so happy because her blood pressure increased from 49/41 to 91/89. But then, her blood pressure started going down again, until I couldn’t keep track of the numbers anymore. 

I whispered to her, “Mama, do you still want to fight? Move your hands, move your eyes.” She shed a tear in her left eye. I dozed off and when I woke up, I saw her blood pressure going down, down, down. By the time the doctors came in, flat line na si Liezl. They asked me, “Do you want us to resuscitate her?” I said, “If you resuscitate her, can you bring back her blood pressure to normal?” They said, “No.” I looked at Alissa. We didn’t have to say a word. We hugged in silence. “Let Mama go in peace,” she cried. I looked at Liezl. She seemed to be just asleep. She was so beautiful! I’m telling you, she was soooo beautiful! She looked so happy. I was looking at an 18-year-old Liezl.

In an instant, Alfonso and Alyanna rushed to the hospital.

It was 6:14 Saturday morning, March 14. Liezl died with her favorite yellow Hello Kitty blanket covering her.

Before she died, Liezl had commissioned a team to have our place landscaped but she didn’t live to see it completed.

I told her, “Mama, when you wake up, you will see how beautiful the landscaping is.”

On March 27 when Liezl would have turned 48, the ninth day after her death, Alissa will mark her birthday. On April 19 when I turn 55, it will be the 40th day after Liezl’s death.

We completed our bucket list (travel abroad, etc.), except that we were not able to go skydiving.

I don’t know how I can recover from this. It’s something so painful that I cannot describe — the longing, the loneliness. We spent 29 years together and survived all the trials and the struggles.

I don’t know how life will ever be without Liezl.

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