Richard & Maricar enjoy the married life

Making a showbiz marriage work isn’t always easy. The intense public scrutiny and pressure of trying to be a normal couple in an industry where everyone is constantly watching everyone else can easily break a couple apart.

Richard Poon and his wife, Maricar Reyes are one of those couples who have so far survived the pressure of being a showbiz couple. Both are active with their respective projects: Richard with singing, appearances in ASAP and touring to promote his latest album, and Maricar with her TV guestings, the latest of which was on the daytime serye Oh My G starring young actress Janella Salvador. Despite both being busy, they have learned how to make time for their marriage.

They marked their first year as a couple last year and both describe their union as “fun and eventful.”

It’s not magic though, but requires a daily process of adjustment, especially since even couples as close as the two of them are have different communication styles and must adjust to each other. Maricar came into the marriage knowing something about Richard, but each day with him shows her more things to learn, and these also help her become a better person.

“Mas na-enhance what I knew of him before,” says Maricar of her husband. “I always saw him as someone I could learn from, magaling mag-alaga at may natututunan ka. Ang galing lang, consistently from the day I met him, I learned something that — and until today ganoon pa rin, di siya nagbabago. I’m always learning something. It’s impossible to be with him for a long time and not improve something in yourself.”

Richard, while not necessarily using the same words to describe their marriage, grew up in an outspoken Filipino-Chinese family where everyone was encouraged to say what they feel.

So for him, their first year together has been more about learning how to listen (something he learned from his manager Erickson Raymundo), appreciating silences and fighting his natural tendency to take control and always have the last word.

He had fears coming into the marriage for that very reason. “I was afraid of myself because I grew up in a home na dominant. My mom is dominant, my sister is dominant and my father is dominant. We all have very strong personalities. So my fear was overpowering Maricar because she’s very nice na susunod-sunod na lang siya. Ako kasi, I have the tendency na ‘pag na-tensyon ako, I become autocratic. I take control. ‘Pag pressured ako, hindi ako ‘yung ‘Tara, let’s work as a team.’ Ako, ‘pag-pressured na, basta kukunin ko yung manibela. So (during our first year), I tried my best to guard that area.”

If Richard was worried about being too vocal, Maricar worried about not being the so-called “traditional” wife.

She grew up with a mother who was good at managing the household — so good that Maricar never had to pitch in. A medical school graduate of the University of Santo Tomas (UST) and a doctor by training, Maricar didn’t know how to cook, stick to a budget or do any of the so-called “wifely” things.

Thus, when she married Richard and friends would tell her stories about how they did this and that for their husbands, she became slightly alarmed.

“Very traditional ang family namin,” shares Maricar. “My mom took care of the home, my dad was always at work. Actually worry ko ‘yon. My mom was so good at what she did, at keeping the house, na hindi ako masyadong na-train. So coming into the home, I would hear from other wives, mga friends ko would tell me, ‘You should try, you should do your best to become these things for him. People would tell me, ‘O, dapat matuto kang mag-budget, matuto kang humawak ng kitchen money, magluto, mag-ayos ng gamit niya. Kung magta-travel siya, ikaw dapat mag-ayos ng suitcase niya.’ Ako naman, I was like, ‘Really?’”

Fortunately, Richard did not pressure her. He allowed her to find her own comfort level in their marriage. Says Maricar: “Hindi siya namimilit. Hindi niya ako sinasabihan ng ‘Hoy, dapat ganito, ganyan ka,’ in the area of the home, which I was expecting and hearing from other people. I was expecting to be my mom, pero hindi, eh.”

And that’s what marriage is all about: Making room for individual differences, accepting the other person and continuing to love in spite of it all — a lesson that Richard and Maricar have learned well.