To accept the things we cannot change
There is a priceless gem of wisdom in the prayer of Saint Francis, and to me, it makes my life happier, easier, and less stressful. That is accepting the many immutable things in life. Saint Francis, the patron saint of Dumanjug, Cebu, and the iconic saint, in whose honor, then Cardinal Mario Borgolio named himself Pope Francis. The pope was a son of a very wealthy man, but he has embraced poverty as a way to simplify his life. He abandoned a life of luxury and lavishness and chose to live in the streets and in the poor villages. He found peace, serenity, and happiness in communing with nature, with the birds and the animals.
The problem with modern living is that it has become extremely complicated, with too much technology and too many gadgets, too many equipment and tools. There is less person-to-person interactions. People hardly talk to each other. They try to reach out through Facebook, Twitter, Viber and text messaging. There is no more human touch, no more eye-to-eye and heart-to-heart.
I live in highly urbanized Metro Manila. My daughter who has her own room would send text messages to the maids, in the same house but on different floors, to bring her fast food to her room. But the maids are busy. She is online with the driver chatting while the driver is stuck in traffic trying to bring me to the office.
I am a baby boomer and my daughter is a millennial. Whenever I tell her something that my generation values as a matter of principle, she would tell me to wait for she would still google if what I say is indubitable. During my time, we took the words of our father as gospel truth, ex-cathedra. We always obeyed our parents even if we know that they were not always right. But the millennials belong to the generation which has many sources of information. They do not limit themselves to one source. To them, their fathers and mothers are only sources of data. Technology affords them with many more. Not because they do not love their parents enough. Maybe because they believe they could be smarter than their old folks. The best way to approach this is to accept it.
My son who has a very beautiful and tall girlfriend, who is a flight attendant of a foreign airline. He makes his girlfriend sleep in his room. Well, they may be praying the rosary but my wife is always furious, bewildered and inconsolable. I would always grin and bear it. I would philosophize that we could not impose the values of our generations to these millennials. Maybe they just want privacy together. Well, they are definitely not just scrimping on hotel rooms. Flight attendants have free accommodations. They just love to maximize their bonding moments. In a way, I am jealous of my son. During my time, such would become a big scandal and a huge legal controversy. They travel together to Russia, US, Asia, and even Antartica. And we just pray that they are safe. If they cannot be good all the time, they just have to be careful to be safe.
Sometimes, I blame myself for being incapable to impose my standards of discipline. Then I become stressed. I worry too much. But do I change the situation by worrying about it? No. Does my daughter change if and when I pressure to do things my way or go to the highway? No. Will my son stop allowing his girlfriend sleep in his room if and when my wife berates them and drives them away, or declare them ''persona non-grata''? No. And so, from Saint Francis, I learn to accept the things I cannot change. There is wisdom in lifting all these to Him, who knows all things, who wills all things, and who loves all, including us. What matters most in life is to know the difference between the things we can control and those we cannot. And knowing, thus to act accordingly.
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