Dealing with betrayal
In Didache 2018 edition, Jan Carlo Silan writes this story. "A few years ago, we welcome a relative into our house. But after some time, he started to steal stuff from us. The biggest that was missing was our laptop. We learned that he sold it and then left our house for good.
"It hurt us because we opened our home to him and welcome him into our family. But instead of being grateful, he destroyed our trust and stole our money and our things…”
"Betrayal," exclaims John Amodeo, Ph.D of “www.psychcentral.com,” is one of the most painful human experiences. Discovering that someone we trusted has deeply hurt us pulls the reality rug from under us.”
According to Amadeo, betrayal comes in many forms. Abandonment, vicious gossip, and spreading lies also may be experienced as betrayal. A damaging aspect of betrayal is that our sense of reality is undermined. What felt like solid trust suddenly crumbles. Our innocence is shattered. We’re left wondering: What happened? How could this happen? Who is this person? Affairs are more complex. Should we gather our dignity and end the relationship? Or, is there a way to maintain our dignity while attempting to heal and rebuild trust?”
Being betrayed is truly shattering and overwhelming. It's like we are being stabbed at the back. Some would deal with the situation with prayers, so as to cope up with the situation. A few would retaliate by doing what the other partner is doing which I believe would make the matter worse. Like, an acquaintance, her husband had a mistress. To get even with him, she also had an affair. Ultimately their marriage was broken.
There are ways wherein we can deal with betrayal. The “wikiHow.com suggests the following:
Feel the emotions. When you have been betrayed, you may be overcome with anger, grief and humiliation. Holding on your painful feelings can have a negative effect on your health and relationships. It may help to write through your feelings in a journal. Or better be, talk to the person diplomatically.
Do not rush a life-changing decision. Betrayal can turn your world upside down. When you have lost the trust you had for someone, you may be tempted to cut them out of your life entirely. Wait before you make any big decisions, such as filing for divorce, changing your job, or denouncing someone publicly, as your feelings may change.
Avoid retaliating. If you feel in danger of physically harming yourself or others, immediately seek professional help. There is no positive revenge. Revenge in the heat of the moment is something that you will come to regret later.
Find someone you can speak with frankly. Discussing the betrayal with someone you trust can be healing. A good friend or a therapist can help you clear your head and decide what steps to take. Remember that one betrayal doesn’t mean that you can’t trust anyone. You might even come to trust the person who betrayed you. But most of all, refuse to sink into self-pity.
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