Smoke screen

CEBU, Philippines — Superman, Wonder Woman, Invisible Man - for some people they are super heroes; for others they are some smoke screens.

If you are a fan of arms games or military tactics games, a smoke screen is often used to conceal something from the opponent. It is an effective way of distracting your opponent and keep you safe.

A smoke screen, our defense mechanism, also does the same for a person, well except for the literal smoke that is.

Most of us adults, if not all, have used a smoke screen at least once in our lives. "I'm O.K.", "I know it all!", or "The Joker" are just some of the masks we wear to make it appear to the world that we are doing fine, to keep our person safe, and our sanity intact.

My favorite smoke screen is the "Escape Artist". I am no David Blaine but I know how to escape conflicts and confrontations. That's me, I just want to please everybody and be friends with everyone.

My smoke screens have served me good for a lot of instances. I get to stay away from people I don't like. I get to avoid heated discussions with people I find hard to handle. I get to be at peace with everyone.

But deep inside, every time I put on this mask of pleasing everybody and avoiding conflicts, I suffer from anxiety and irrational fear. My hands are sweating and I cannot concentrate. It even came to a point that I have had successive insomnia attacks because I am not able to vent out my hurts and frustrations to avoid clashing with others.

This has got to stop! I choose to come from a place of courage and authenticity to be able to take off the mask I am wearing; to tear down the wall of deceit; and for once be authentic to the people around me. Once and for all, I have to shine a light on my smoke screens to be authentic to myself!

Easier said than done, right? But I have to do it! I don't want to hide behind my smoke screens forever. I don't need to lead a pretentious life just to please everyone. I don't deserve to deceive myself and deny myself of my authenticity!

Just imagine the missed opportunities of connecting to people when I put out a snob countenance just to guard my heart from being hurt again. Imagine the honest conversations i will enjoy if only I take off my invisibility cloak and be seen in my truth! Imagine the support I will feel when I admit that I am no superman who can take on all the challenges in this world; when I embrace my vulnerability and see the love of the people around me.

Human as I am, I know that my smoke screens will resurface when I am faced with risky, uncertain, and awkward situations. This is a part of my being that I can never let go off. But I choose to be aware when my smoke screens creep in so that I can shed light to it.  (FREEMAN)