Things you should never say to a depressed person

I felt a tinge of sadness upon learning that the younger brother of a popular young actress committed suicide due to depression. How devastating indeed that a young life was nipped  in the bud before it could blossom. But, we can never put a ‘ blame finger’ because we don’t know what the person was going through. All we can do is to say a prayer for him that the Lord grant him eternal rest.

According to www.helpguide.org, feeling down from time to time is a normal part of life, but when emotions such as hopelessness and despair take hold and just won’t go away, you may have depression. It is a common and debilitating mood disorder. It is  more than just sadness in  response to life’s struggles  and setbacks. Some people describe depression as “ living in a black hole” or having a feeling of impending doom, others feel lifeless, empty and pathetic.

I had the chance to help a relative who underwent depression because of a broken relationship. My  heart ached with pain and sympathy on the journey he went through. I could not help but shed tears with him every time he poured all his longing and sentiments. My heart bled every time we talked. I told him to pray to God. I also raised my hand to heaven asking the Lord to stop his pain. True indeed, God is a loving and good God. After a few months, he was back to his feet again.

When someone we loved or someone we know is undergoing depression, we should never say these things according  to “cureJoy website,”:

I know how you feel. Instead of saying this, state that you have also been depressed sometimes which felt awful and you can’t imagine how difficult it must be for them.

It’s your own fault. Would you tell someone suffering from a fever that’s their fault? It’s the same with someone suffering from depression. They have no control over how they feel. Instead of accusing the person, tell him or her how brave he or she in continuing to fight the malady.

Why don’t you change your lifestyle? Don’t make an attempt to blame your friend’s lifestyle for his condition. While a person’s lifestyle can affect his mood, a person suffering from depression can become depressed regardless of external situations. If your friend is in a depressed state, the best you can do is be a pillar of support.

It  will  pass. It’s never a good idea to tell someone who is depressed that things will just pass. Depression is not  a phase, it is a medical condition that needs to be managed  with courage. It is better to talk  to them about seeking medical help and encourage them to be brave.

Have you tried exercise?  Yes,  exercising releases endorphin which makes you feel good, but it’s not really a solution for depression. Exercising is  a great way to maintain health, but it’s not a cure for a preexisting medical condition. Depression needs medical treatment which involves therapy, and in some cases medication.