A rare experience on Father's Day

CEBU, Philippines - The other members of my family were elsewhere that day: Gusen was in Bacolod City, Dolly was in Saudi Arabia. And yet I was truly happy at the time because with me at home were my wife Senda, my youngest daughter Liebe, and my eldest granddaughter Maxyne. Besides greeting me “Happy father’s Day,” they each gave me a meaningful gift:  Senda, a Red Ribbon cake; Liebe a rechargeable radio; Maxyne, a card she made herself with a cut-out red heart on it and the words “Happy Father’s Day, Lolo!”

Now that I am in my sunset years, at age 78, such was a rare experience on Father’s Day. From April 6, 1968,  when Julio R. Cardinal Rosales ordained me a priest forever until June 12, 1979 when the late Minglanilla Mayor Eddie Selma officiated at our civil marriage, the title “Reverend Father” was a part of my name. For 38 years now, I have been a “real father.”

For 11 years, I had preached from the pulpit that God is our Father. And I never understood its meaning until I became a real father and no longer the “Reverend Father” that every Roman Catholic looked up to with respect and admiration. And, yes, all those years I lived on the priest stipends that people gave me for officiating religious rites. And I understood differently, then, the common statement heard during fiestas and other celebrations: “Isugba ang pari!” It was a cue for preparing something special for the priest – and not that the priest be charbroiled.

As a real father, I had to support my family by teaching in the university. And my students would usually ask if I had any regrets for having switched from reverend father to real father.  A line in the song, “My Way,” was my ready answer every time: “Regrets I’ve had a few, but then again too few to mention…”

I am a man who wants to try what this life has to offer. In the next life – where we will be like angels – there will no longer be marrying. Then, I would regret some more for not having gotten married in this life on earth.

Another question asked by my university students was which state did I find better – being a Roman Catholic priest remaining celibate and single or being married? I answered that these two states of life are like parallel lines that never meet. Real fathers have consolation and problems that reverend fathers do not get to experience; likewise, reverend fathers go through experiences not gone through by real fathers.

Since they are like parallel lines that do not meet, it’s hard to say which one is a better state. All I can say is that I have tried them both. And since priesthood means sacrifice, my priesthood has more meaning now that I am a real father, and not a bastard reverend, for according to Atty. Adelino Sitoy, the term “bastard” should not be applied to illegitimate children, but to fathers who for one reason or another (including the Western Roman Catholic priests’ promise to remain single or celibate) could not and do not marry the mothers. This results in the existence of some Reverend Bastards in our Philippine society which, although geographically Eastern, belongs to the Western Rite Roman Catholicism due to the Spaniards coming from the West to colonize our country.

Praise the Lord for that rare experience I had last Fathers’ Day! (FREEMAN)