AvoidBeing an Annoying Person

CEBU, Philippines - Do you get along well with others? Have you ever felt that people try to avoid you? Do others excuse themselves and leave when you join a conversation?

Do others find you annoying? These may be a few hints that you really need to pick up. Rarely will someone blatantly tell you that he or she finds you exasperating. And if that is the case, you need to take a serious note of it. Start introspecting.

You might be getting on other peoples’ nerves! Many a time we are oblivious of what others think about us. We want to believe that we are popular and acceptable and that others find us agreeable. But the truth may be quite the contrary. Most people are unsure of how others feel about them.

To figure out if you are actually irksome, follow these easy steps:

1. Monitor how others respond to you when you talk to them. Watch how they react in your company. If someone hints you that he or she finds you annoying, take that viewpoint seriously.

2. Conduct a self-assessment and see if you can figure out what is it that people find annoying about you. It could be a specific trait, an irritating habit or worse they may find your whole personality unpleasant!

3. In case the narcissist in you fails to find any flaw and considers your personality impeccable, take the help of a friend whom you can trust and confide in. Let him critically analyze you. Grant him the liberty to honestly and forthrightly tell you your weak points and shortcomings. Have courage and prepare yourself to accept criticism graciously. Remember, this is for your own good and will help you to better yourself.

4. There is yet another innovative way to figure things out. Make a list of all the things that you find annoying in others. Then compare with yourself and see if you have any of those traits. Once you are clear about your shortcomings and flaws, the next step is to prepare a list of all those negative traits.

For a start, it is advisable that you make the list in a particular order. Place the ‘easiest things to change’ on the top of the list and the ‘most difficult ones’ at the bottom. The rationale behind this being that your personality has formed over many years and whatever traits you already have, are difficult to change. If you start with the weaknesses that are easy to give up, you will find the entire process less painful. It will also boost your self confidence and set the stage for bigger changes. (FREEMAN)