The need for friends

CEBU, Philippines - There’s no question that parents want their kid to get along well with other kids. They want their boy or girl to have friends. They would even encourage their child to invite some friends home.

But how important are friends for growing children? Well, children with friends enjoy many benefits. Spending time with friends is fun and exciting for children! Friendships support children’s wellbeing and can help them handle different social situations.

For example, with friends of the same age a child can learn social skills like sharing and taking turns; learn about fairness and following rules; and learn how to negotiate, compromise, and cooperate with others.

Even small children can make friends by participating in play opportunities. They may ask their parents to seek out other parents and find playmates for them. A child that spends time with other children will learn how to play with others and practice good social behaviors.

It is good to have several other kids as consistent playmates for the child in order to be able to form a bond with them. The parents can help by looking for or setting up a play group. A play group gives the child the opportunity to learn skills for interacting with larger groups of children. It is good practice for school.

It is even better if parents can join the kids initially in the play! The parent’s presence gives some kind of reassurance for the child, who may at first feel awkward in the company of other kids. And the other kids will feel secure to have a grownup among them. With an adult joining the playgroup, the kids may learn more social skills by imitating the grownup. 

Learning social skills is important. Children who have social skills, like being friendly, taking turns, and showing kindness, have an easier time making friends. Learning and using positive social behaviors will help the child become someone other children want to spend time with.

The child may notice positive social behaviors with his parents or other grownups pointing it out and describing it for him. Statements like “Oh look, your sister wants to share her toys” will help.

Okay, and when the child himself shows positive social behaviors, his parents are sure to notice it. It will also help is the child himself ask his parents if his behavior is right. “That was a friendly thing you did, letting your brother go first this time. Good job taking turns!” may be their expected response, for example.

Having friends can also teach the child how to manage conflict. Conflict with friends and other children is common. A child who values his friends would want to resolve whatever problems may arise between them. And so he will want to learn some basic problem-solving skills to resolve conflicts. The first step is to ask his parents to help.

Or, the child may be prompted to seek the help of his other friends in order to solve his conflict with one of them. This, again, improves his social skills, as he has to think up of ways to approach his other friends to earn their help.

Kids can learn from the positive behavior of his friends, whom he may consider to be his role model. Once the child becomes conscious of the importance of good behavior, he will begin to see it in his freinds and want to show it in himself.

Children learn as much from their age-mates as from caring adults. (Reference: www.articles.extension.org) (FREEMAN)