Finding Balance in Work and Love

CEBU, Philippines - It is said that we cannot serve two masters at the same time. A lot of people would agree that indeed, we can’t. We have to make a choice – whether to study our lessons or go out with friends, or between work and family.

Dabbling between two “masters” is quite difficult, especially if we consider both as equal priorities. We may have to give up one, opting to stick to the harsher taskmaster.  But it is also possible to strike a balance, and meet with halfway both.

One particularly vexing situation is navigating between work and love relationship. On one hand, we have to keep our head above the stress and pressure of work each day, beating deadlines, adjusting with co-workers and all. On the other hand, there are the demands of our love relationship to cope with. What if the relationship is on the verge of falling apart and in urgent need of attention? 

It is not easy to choose between career and love relationship. But life, actually, offers choices. And that includes the choice of keeping both work and love – and achieving balance. 

Balance can be achieved with proper time management. Research shows that people who have a happy love relationship are more productive at work than those who are single. It, however, does not mean that we should just jump into a relationship just for the sake of being in one. Choosing a partner that understands our kind of work and lifestyle is important.

The Ramon Aboitiz Foundation encourages a well-rounded and balanced living, having rewarding work and a healthy love relationship:

Prioritizing does not have to mean sacrifice. Because we are busy, there is really no time to dilly-dally with the things that need to be done. It means that when we are at work, then we should work. Our work should be done and deadlines should be met as soon as possible so that we can also give full time to our partner. Both should be considered priorities but no one should be sacrificed.

Understanding is key. Our partner should be made to understand the nature of our work, in the same manner that our boss should be made to understand that we also have a personal relationship we have to attend do. Take note, we need to settle with our partner about the demands of our work so we both could make adjustments without sacrificing the love relationship. When both parties understand that work and relationship are a priority, then having to work overtime every now and then would not result in trouble with our partner and taking a day-off from work would not be misinterpreted that we do not value our job.

Learn to manage time. If work requires us to go to a meeting or a seminar outside the office for a week or two, perhaps we could plan the weekend before our scheduled departure to have time together with our partner. This could give us both quality time to compensate for the absence. Even when not together, communication is very essential – even when one or both are busy. This is easy to do these days; a text message or short e-mail message is enough to remind our partner that we are thinking of him or her. It is also to reassure our partner that we are okay.

A date never gets old. Whether it is a movie date or a lunch date, it is necessary to have time with our partner to update each other about our respective jobs. Even a meandering talk just about anything every so often helps. Stressful, work-related topics should be minimized, though. The personal time to be with our partner should not be messed up with work problems.

Never force an issue. Not all situations are controllable, and if things are going out of hand, learn to let go. If our partner refuses to understand us and the demands of our work and the situation is making our life miserable, then maybe it’s time to quit – our work or on him. If our partner truly loves us, he or she will likely take the extra effort to understand and support us. When work also leads us nowhere, or that we feel dissatisfied no matter how hard we try, we should weigh our options, which include looking for a fresh start. Remember that if it is meant for us – be it a job or a love partner – it will work.

Life has so much to offer, it is really up to us how to handle every situation we encounter. We can let work dominate our lives or have our love life as our priority. And, still, we may opt achieve a balance between the two. (FREEMAN)