I’m coming home

MANILA, Philippines - I was 17 years old when I was first given the chance to represent the Philippines in an international conference. It was my first time to ride a plane, go out of the country, and explore a different culture. I still remember the excitement and anxiety that I had along the way. What I didn’t expect was how the experience would change my perspective and how it would open my eyes to see the beauty of exploring a different nation.

From then on, I would go to a different country year by year. Every trip made me more thrilled to explore more places. I fell in love with the diversity and beauty of experiencing different cultures, and of making friends from foreign soil. 

It was then that I told myself that I would live abroad right after I graduate from college. With the thought of experiencing a more efficient transportation system, cold weather during winter, and the opportunity to learn a different language, it became my ultimate dream. I chased that dream until it was already in my hands.

The next thing I knew, I was booking a flight to unfamiliar territory.

During the psychological part of my physical exam, the counselor asked, “Kaya mo ba? Kasi marami ang umuuwi kasi naho-homesick sila.” I confidently told the counselor that I’ve lived alone all my life as I stayed in a dormitory throughout college and that homesickness would not be my concern. A lot of people asked me if I can do it because it would mean being alone and I said I could.

Perhaps, I hadn’t understood then what it really meant to be far away.

Every time I arrive in a foreign land, I am always amazed by the beauty of the environment, the efficient transportation system, and the honesty of the people.

This time, the feeling of excitement never faded, but the first few months became a struggle as I found myself adjusting to a very different environment. In addition, I was pursuing graduate studies that was a different track from my undergraduate course, working for a company that is also different from my background, and learning a new language.

It felt as though I was starting my life from scratch.

Even though I struggled, I was happy as I could see myself growing and becoming more mature. Balancing studies and work abroad was never easy. Yet, my colleagues were very understanding and welcoming. Given that I was learning a lot of new things, I doubled my efforts especially in my studies, which resulted in high scores after the semester. I also learned to speak some Chinese phrases and to understand some of the characters.

At night, I would remember everyone who told me about homesickness. For me, it was just a concept back then, but after a year abroad, I guess I finally know what it truly means. Being thousand of miles away from home is different from just being in another province back home.

When you live abroad, you cannot just go back to attend a class reunion, birthdays of your loved ones, Christmas party, and New Year celebration. There’s a big difference to being physically there and seeing photos through the screen of your computer. No one also told me how much I would crave for Filipino food and how I would miss the early morning “taho.”

My experience abroad made me respect even more the modern heroes of our nation – our overseas Filipino workers (OFWs).

Every Sunday, Filipinos would gather in a certain community area and I would see them talking to their loved ones over the phone. There’s also a long line during these days at remittance centers and courier businesses that offer balikbayan boxes. Those boxes took them months to fill with stuff to be sent back home.

However, what their loved ones back home don’t see are the long hours at work that are spent in order to fill those boxes. What I admire most about OFWs is that despite their struggles of being away, they find ways to be happy and to be strong for their loved ones. They possess a trait that is common to all heroes – selflessness.

Through the ups and downs, the experience of living abroad has been one of the biggest highlights of my life. It helped me gain a better understanding of what it truly meant to live a life in a foreign land and to be really immersed in a different culture. It was through this experience that I became stronger and wiser.

Although my plans have changed, the passion to go out of my comfort zone, take risks, and learn new things will always be a part of me.

I’m coming back home with an album full of memories, a lifelong experience, and a story to tell.