A place in the heart called home

There’s a place called home

I can almost see, with a red front door, and

A roaring fire, and a Christmas tree.

Yes, a place called home

Full of love and family,

And I’m there at the door

Watching you come home to me.

This song never fails to put a lump in my throat, specially this holiday season when my nine siblings and I are in eight different places around the world. This year, we are in Medina in Misamis Oriental, Oxnard, Santa Monica and San Diego in California, Eugene in Oregon, Boca Raton in Florida, Sydney in Australia, and Quezon City in the Philippines.

Home is a movable feast, actually.We once lived in a house with a red front door where our mother presided at the Christmas table. We now have Sundays with our Kuya in Cubao, and big and small gatherings at a brother’s and a sister’s homes in Loyola Heights. This week, the California contingent got together for a day in our older sister’s home in San Diego. In our family, home is where we are, solo or together, but always in touch — emotionally, spiritually, virtually.

Until this year, we’ve never been this far apart at Christmastime. Usually, at least half of us are in Manila at noche buena after midnight Mass, with our children and grandchildren, opening presents, partaking of our traditional dishes, and basking in one another’s affection. This year, we are scattered far and wide, celebrating the holidays separately with our children and grandchildren.

But we have never been closer and more accessible to each other. Thanks to Viber, the sibs and spouses are able to converse simultaneously, sending messages of concern, love and affection expressed so freely, in ways that we don’t usually do when we’re face to face.  We are up-to-date with each other’s activities, medical updates, travel notes, all-points bulletins, political commentary, photos, videos, jokes, and forwarded warnings about Internet viruses, on-line scams, and cancer-causing bottled water left in a car.

After everyone was set up on Viber — which wasn’t simple, given that all of us are card-carrying senior citizens many of whom are not technically savvy — the conversation and information exchange flowed freely. From different parts of the world, we followed closely a sister-in-law’s surgery for a ruptured appendix and heaved a collective sigh of relief on Viber when we got news that she was recovering well.

The emergency hospitalization of a nephew had everyone worried. The details trickled in while the doctors tried to figure out what was wrong. So there were impatient questions. It was a relief having to send only one news bulletin at a time to be read by all. 

Glad tidings about the much-awaited birth of a sister’s first grandchild in Los Angeles drew ooohs and aaaahs from our baby-crazy family. Now, we eagerly await another birth, this time by a brother’s daughter in Sydney in March.

There are also the inevitable unpleasant news about politics in the homeland — the Marcos burial and other words and actions of Rodrigo Duterte — that elicit the usual groans and invectives. 

I look at Viber first thing in the morning and last thing at night to see if any one of my siblings has left a message — happy, tragic, or trivial. One morning, there was news of the passing of a close friend. It gave us great comfort grieving from far away and knowing someone would be at the wake to represent those of us who could not be there.

There’s always some teasing, nagging and even instructions to be relayed to household staff in Manila. Lately, we have used Viber to schedule face-to-face chats on Facetime, taking into account differences in time zones.

Who would have thought I would settle for virtual hugs and kisses?  It’s the next best thing to being together. Thank God, the conversations are actual, in real time.

There’s a place called home, and it can be anywhere where there is love and family. This year, home for our family is mainly in cyberspace. But I need real hugs so I have made an appeal, on Viber, for everyone to please make an effort to be together in real time and space next Christmas and New Year, while we’re all still around.

May the New Year bring families and the world together in love and peace.