Looking good, feeling good and being good

MANILA, Philippines - A socialist once came to see Andrew Carnegie and soon was railing against the injustice of Carnegie having so much money. Carnegie looked good with all of his riches but, in the view of the socialist, wealth was meant to be divided equally. Carnegie asked his secretary for an assessment of everything he owned and at the same time looked up the figures on world population. He did a little arithmetic on a pad and then said to his secretary, “Give this gentleman 16 cents. That is his share of my wealth.”

Here is the lesson: just because somebody looks good with his or her fortune does not mean that others who do not have the same fortune should be given the same without working for it.

You cannot make the poor man rich by making the rich man poor. There is something about financial literacy, skills and knowledge that, all things being equal, the rich will make their money back and the poor will remain poor. And this is the inside story behind people who look good with their wealth.

Here is another story: A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depths of the Great Depression — I was down to my last nickel. I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for 10 cents. The next morning, I invested those 10 cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37. Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."

Some people are born with a silver spoon; others have to rise up the ranks. Life is never fair. People who come from well-to-do families are accustomed to having the best things in life that money can offer and that’s not a bad thing. But they have to make sure they know how to make their wealth grow and maintain humility and develop good character. This is how their condition becomes sustainable.

Others have to work hard, get the right breaks and reach a status of wealth and this is also good. They develop tenacity of character and are stronger in times of challenges and difficulty. Once they reach this stage they become good, look good and actually feel good.

Now, here is the deal: there is a difference between looking good and feeling good. Some people spend money on things so they can feel good and they do, for a while, but when they look at their bills, they start feeling bad all over again.

Others discipline themselves with savings and investing and, though they may not be enjoying the looks that are usually associated with riches now, they can enhance their moments of pleasure later when they are stable. They’ll have an income that not only meets their needs but they can also splurge a little more of it as the reward for their hard work. Then and only then do they look good and actually feel good because they have become good.

I love to wear nice clothes because they make me feel good and confident. I love having good stuff because they serve as fruits of my labor and they are stuff I can keep for a long time and pass on to my kids. But I make sure that all this good stuff that makes me look good and feel good are byproducts of being good at what I do. What makes me good at what I do is the result of years of study, hard work, service to clients and an endless drive to improve and innovate. Therefore, feeling good and looking good is a byproduct, not an objective.

We go to the gym to get healthy and looking good is a byproduct. We wear good fashion because we represent the company we work for and we respect the clients we meet, and feeling good and confident about it is a byproduct.

We live within our means but we need to increase our means because we all should have dreams and aspirations to become better, be better and afford better things. But to try to look good so as to feel good but living beyond your means is totally artificial and will bring you trouble. I guess feeling good really comes from the inside when you know you have been good and you have done well. If this is not the case, then pardon the pun, but it’s just not good!

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Single/Single Season 2 is an advocacy project of The Philippine STAR in partnership with Cinema One and made possible by Metrobank, Sunlife, Avida, McDo, Ford, Krem-Top and Cebu Pacific. It airs on Cinema One every Sunday at 10PM, with replays every Wednesdays at 8:30PM and Saturdays at 9PM. For the full episode review, check out page D-4 of the Entertainment Section. You may also catch-up the entire Season 1 as well as the latest aired episode on philstartv.com.